My experience: In my own experience anxiety and panic attacks just came over me every now and then, but more so I noticed in warm weather, I started to figure out what changes in brain chemical or lack off was causing this condition, and what I could do to alter it, I discovered that a quantity of beer worked, but unless I was going to surrender my life to the demon drink, this cure was not suitable,
My doctors advice was, surprise surprise an anti depressant, not wanting to go down this road I discovered a cure on my own, I derermined I was dehydrated, since watching this important item...Water intake, I have never suffered an anxiety attack since
I hope this will help some people overcome this insidious affliction.
Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly
I'm completely new to all of this but I have been suffering from bouths of anxiety all of my life, but nothing like what I have been experiencing over the past 2 months. I've had constant worry (fear), negative thoughts, no energy, lack of sleep and some physical symptoms as well. It feels like a burning sensation all over my body (anxiety) and I honestly had enough. I'm not one to go on these forums but I really need help. Thanks everyone!
Thanks Angel. For your advice and help. For what it's worth....I believe in Angels :-)
Dear Kay, I know you have trouble believing this has happened to you and you are not alone in that. If you are experiencing abuse in your mind and the pictures don't go away or keep recurring then of course it happened to you.
It can bring up terrifying images, can make you immensely confused or even paranoid. It can affect all your relationships with people - but only if you let it. I find when I feel afraid - I immediately look at my watch to see how long I will be afraid for but I don't look at it when I feel like crying. I know that might sound strange but if you time fear you will most likely find that your fear takes up less time as you go along. Fear can be measured and it is worth doing because this is the strongest emotion that is there where sexual abuse is concerned. Someday you will look at your watch and notice that your feeling of fear only lasted a second. I really hope that that will be soon for you.
When I feel like crying - I prefer to cry by myself. Then I can feel lonliness as well. I find crying in front of someone will dismiss the feeling of loneliness - yet loneliness is always a key factor in abuse. It is better to feel it rather than avoid it - otherwise it could be locked away in your mind and disturb you in another way sometimes without you even realising it.
I felt extremely lonely as a child and didn't get the chance to experience the loneliness fully because I was constantly threatened. For four years I wished that someone would come and put their arms around me but the group I was caught up in made sure that I wouldn't tell anyone. It's very easy to frighten a child.
Councelling throughout the topic of abuse can make you feel very afraid at times and some people give up. My advice to you is be afraid but keep doing it anyway. You will most certainly feel less afraid in the future and will learn a huge amount about yourself in the process.
I believe in all that is seen and unseen.
Hi Purple and Angel. I ended up going my parents Xmas day after with alcohol taken to make me relax. Hubby drove... I pretended I was happy and having a good time. But I was probably over animated thinking back on it. I could not look my father in the eye. We stayed for hour. I haven't seen them since. I am in counselling and my counsellor is great. My father wasn't the only man who abused me and I've spent a number of years dealing with that abuse before I started having flashbacks of my father abusing me. I am struggling big time with dealing with my father and what he did to me. I had to spend a long time actually believing he did those things to me and even now some days I convince myself I'm making it up. But then I look at everything I feel and remember and know I'm not wrong.
Thanks for reply to my post again.
i feel for u i really do, i no what its like to have a paedophile in the family, on my husband side his cousin is 1, he got out of prision just october gone, what i will never understand is y my mother inlaw new for years b4 he was sent down, she kept it from us for years, an my boys who are 25 an 20 now, wen they were young an my kids were in her house he would be there, we never new what he had done, , it came out 7 years ago, i was disgusted, i asked my mother inlaw how could u, your own grandkids, now he didnt touch them, TG,, my mother inaw would except calls from the prision from him, an 1 day i answered, i said its the pedo, i was told by her not to call him that, me an my hubby went home, iv told my mother inlaw dont mention his name to me he is a disgusting bastard, people like them should never be let out of prision, i dont care wat the saying is do the crime u do yr time an forgive no way, , xx
Dear Kay, I have a long story to tell as well about my father. I was involved in satanists who still exist today. I would love to post what they did to me but it would be totally inappropriate and I don't want to frighten anyone. I just want to concentrate on your post at the moment.
I know your kids love their cousins but I would have sent just your husband with your kids. Why should you have to put yourself through this torture? It is clear that you are not ready for this yet but you could be some time in the future. For now - avoid situations like this and get some really good counselling. Get yourself to the stage where you feel so brave that you can look anyone in the eye and not be afraid. That's the stage I'm at at the moment but it took me five years to get to this stage. I found wonderful people (and there are many out there) who helped me through this journey so well. I've become afraid of nothing - not even the big black spiders that used to make me shiver in my boots! I could actually pick one up now and put it outside the door.
Take your dead ease. Remember we live forever - not for a short time.
I believe in all that is seen and unseen.
Hi all. Don't know if anyone will reply to this comment but I have to say it. My anxiety levels are through the roof. I'm expected to go to my parents house Xmas day evening with my husband and kids and pretend everything is normal when all I want to do is scream, panic and run out of their house and away from my racing thoughts. To try and sit in the same room as my paedophile father without making eye contact is sending my anxiety through roof.
Spent the last year in therapy trying to admit he abused me sexually and realise I'm not making it up. I know I shouldn't go.to their house but my kids love seeing their cousins there too. This is consuming Xmas for me. I was extremely sick in hospital this time last year for two and half weeks and almost didn't make it. I've been looking forward to this Christmas so much but this anxiety is ruining it.
So I'm saying it out loud to anyone who will listen...my father is a paedophile. I hate that sneaky thing that he is. He makes me want to vomit. I've so much anger towards him.
Just reading over your problem Dave 95, and it sounds so much like my son, who I cant say suffers from just anxiety, he has dyspraxia very mild dyspraxia but with it has suffered from social anxiety a long time. He had to change to course in college and is just not settling in at all, no-one really talks to him and its a bit lonely walking around all day on your own, He does have one or two friends but one of them is now working and doing more things and he wouldn't see him as much.If you lived in Dublin I would love the two of you to get together even if to play a bit of football or whatever, that miught sound a bit mad but life is short and you may help each other. god knows. I do hope that even if you didn't meet him, you find some peace and calm and contentment.
Dave 95. I really feel for you. Anxiety can be such a powerful negative force and feel like its taking us over sometimes. I had anxiety at your age too. I still do and im 45. But what i have learned and it took me a long time to realise it. Its this....anxiety is horrible, restricting, very scarey and sometimes rules our life...but i have come to realise that it can'nt hurt me. Its a feeling, an emotion all be it a strong one. This morning I had anxiety going to work. I was very tired, not sleeping great, but the thoughts of spending the day in work seemed almost impossible..in the past I would have given into it and phoned in sick to work but now I meet anxiety head on. I tell myself that I am going to work, there is nothing dangerous there and this is just a feeling with no real belonging to a simple thing like going to work in a job i have worked at for 6 years. So I go to work and talk to myself in my head saying things like...its ok, I am safe and I will be home in a couple of hours. when i get to work im ok. i get busy and it passes. in the past if i had phoned in sick then the anxiety would increase and i would feel so bad about myself for being anxious over silly small things. with the result i would go nowhere and do nothing. my world became very small and my self esteem would hit an all time low. then it goes into a circle much like the one you feel you are in. I would think i am no good at anything and no one liked me. But most of this is not true, its just anxiety making you feel like that. If I could take you by the hand and lead you to school I would. I would tell you we would go to school for just one hour and see how we go. I would reassure you that you will be ok and that you deserve an education for yourself and make you feel safe. Then over time I would extend that hour to longer. With every hour you would spend in school or doing something you love or want to do, your self esteem would grow and you would slowly learn that you can do what you want to do with your life.
You are so young with you whole life ahead of you. I want you to know what a powerful strong human being you are. You are not weak...You are amazing and brave. any person who suffers with anxiety has to be to deal with the fear anxiety brings to their life. Trust me when I tell you that you are the decider of your life and what happens in it. Tell anxiety to f--k off. Tell it that you dont need it and dont want it. If you hear that voice in your head saying "I cannt go in there" or "I am too scared to do that even though I want to" tell that voice to get the F--k lost. I know its hard to do these things when anxiety feels so powerful at times but with practice you will begin to believe in yourself.
Sorry for rambling and for some colourful strong language above but I wish I could take away your anxiety so that you can live your life with enjoyment the way you deserve.
I'm really struggling with my anxiety. I dropped out of 6th year in November 2013 and now I'm enrolled to go back and do the leaving cert this year. I was supposed to be in today but it ended up being just like before, looking for any excuse not to go in. I know if i do go in i'll be sitting there with no friends, sweating bucket loads and it will just be torture, as much as i want to finish school and go to college, i just cant bring myself to do it. Not only is it the fear of being made fun of etc, but im afraid i might fail or struggle with some subjects meaning the months of torture would be for nothing. I feel sick every time i think about going into the place, and my parents dont seem to understand what im going through. I feel like everyone from my old 6th year from last year think im some lazy guy who doesnt want to do anything but im not. If i could id be out doing something, i hate being couped up like i have been for the past while and it doesnt help that whenever i tried do something like going back playing football or whatever id have people mocking, not just my peers but the coaches aswell. It just doesnt seem fair
im really sorry for wat u went thru,yes my mother was a brilliant mum, she is sadly missed by us all, especially my da, who is heartbroken, i visited her grave today, her headstone is going up maybe next week,I have a picture right beside me at my computer i kiss her in the morning and night, an i have a lovely table with her picture on it in the living room,
Purple, I think your sadness over your mam is a great reflection on how good your relationship was with her. If I can give you any consolation its this.....you have good memories of your mam and she obviously did a good job with raising you as a loving mother if you feel how you do now shes gone. My mother is anything but loving and caring. she is the most selfish woman I have ever known. She was nasty and cruel as me and my sister growing up. She was quick with her hand and cruel nasty remarks. She gave me a life of fear and uncertainty. She damaged me and my sister and me with her suicidal threats all through my life. She still tries to manipulate me with her guilt trips. My father sexually abused me when i was a child but i cannot tell anyone because everyone thinks he is a saint. Im 45 years old and I am only now finding the courage to distance myself from my parents. I could write a book with the things they both put me through as a child. Maybe some day I will. I suppose what I am trying to say is I think its great you had such a good relationship with your mam. I think you were very lucky and blessed to have her as your mother. I know it doesnt make it any easier now that she has passed away but take comfort in knowing she was the kind of mother that a mother should be. Thoughts are with you xx
Tom, hope you are doing ok. I hear your worry and anxiety in your posts. I hear you Tom and understand what you feel. You are not alone in this. You always have my support here on this forum. Take it one day at a time. Try not to be afraid of it, although i know its difficult when its all consuming. But you will feel better soon. It will change.
thats so much for yr kinds words,my mum is 7 months gone this wednesday the 20th, im so so broken hearted that she is gone, my husband and boys are wounderful with me, I was very emotional satruday night , between grief and menpause, up at the hospital today with my son, , my mum died in beaumont, it's hard for me to go to tthat hospital, but i go, i felt panicy today and asked my mum please ma get me true today and she did, these few months have been a toll on all my family especially my poor dad, who is heart broken that my ma is gone. thanks again kay
thanks for post.
Anxiety reallly up there this morning. Feeling really getting the better of me, feel really out of sorts.
Yes I know there arte really acute phases and we have to be strong, forgotten how to do that
Writing is helpful
hope youare ok
Thanks for support Tom
Hi Tom, the writing is great. I sometimes forget to do it. so when you said it you reminded me how i am always saying how effective it is but somehow forget to follow my own advice. Anyway, you seem to have a lot of worries right now. It can feel overwhelming sometimes. But somehow we have to keep focused and know this phase will pass. It always does. I know when I am worried about money my anxiety escalates. Money doesnt buy happiness? isnt that what the saying is? Well it migh tnot buy happinness long term but it certainly does make you feel more secure. You are doing great Tom, I am delighted you are talking on here and letting some of your worries out. Do you have any close personal friends who you could talk to? Although I know unless theyve been where we are then they wont totally get it. I will always reply to you Tom. I promise.
Purple...bloody hell no wonder you felt anxiety and panic on the morning of your mothers funeral.. I think anyone would feel huge anxiety at a time like this. Your going through a traumatic time so be kind to yourself. Talk, talk, talk...tell someone how you feel. Even on this forum. Tell someone and dont keep it in. I expect you will be feeling out of sorts for some time after your mams funeral and this is normal too. But its ok to feel crap for a while. You will be ok. Your strong...if I know anything its that anyone who suffers with anxiety and panic is very very strong.. they have to be to get through the bloody god awful scarey feelings we have at times in our lives. you will feel better again, some day soon.
i had a terrible anxirty panic attact the morning of my mums funeral, i woke to at 3.45am, couldnt breath, i was crying so much, i was sweathing, i new i was having an attack, as im so claustrioba, an i didnt no how i was going to cope with a hugh crowd in the house an church, i couldnt go back to sleep, i was awake the whole morning, shattered,i prayed to my ma please ma help me get thru today, i couldnt eat a breakfast, everytime i tried i wanted so bad to get sick,i got ready to go tomy das, wen i got there i got more an more panicy, the house was ful of people,, i couldnt stand i just wanted the day to go , i prayed again to my ma, please help me ma, as i watched my ma 1 more time in her coffin i wanted to hold her an tell her im so so sorry for not helping with her while she was sick, , i couldnt , looking at my mum wen she was sick i couldnt cope, i was so depressed, da understood, as i helped my da that morning walking to the church, i new my ma was with me, i cud feel her, i cried , an cried, she helped me in the church, i wasnt flustered at all, i miss my ma so badly, if i feel flustered r feel closed in i ask my mum to help me an she does xx
just getting some stuff out of my system so no particularorder to this.
Feel quite shaky at the moment, everyhing seems very negative at the moment. What is really freaking me out is another dose of social anxiety. have to meet a number of people this evening and the thought of this is really frreaking me out.
Numerous health and financial worries are also adding to the mix. Anxiety has skyrocked in recent times. As long as I can remember I have been anxious. Kay - hope you are well, you said often to just keep writing when these attacks come up so that is what i am doing.
Good to have friends like you out there.
All the best Tom
Trying to explain anxiety to someone who has never suffered with panic attacks etc is impossible. Its only those who have walked in our shoes that know how debilitating it can be. My life would be so different without anxiety and having said that.....I would not be who I am today without it, I know myself now not to be weak and fragile but extremely strong as are you Tom. Remember that please.
Im doing ok. Still dealing with family issues.
It got out of control because of work, finances and the feeling of isolation that I know is particularly acute when I am feeling low.
The death of my partners brother just sent it spirralling altogether.
I suppose I did not look after myself as well as I should, I can see that now that anxiety and paralysis from it is only a milimetre away for me at the best of times. I have fought this battle now for 25 years plus. I did not even know what it was for ages.
Based on past experience I know this acute phase will pass. I am left feeling very empty and almost unable to speak at times in recent days. I hope it improves in the days ahead.
I am so lucky to have you guys that knows exactly what it is all about.
Take care Tom
It crept up on me in June and July .
I think there is nobody that does not have anxiety on a day to day basis, so anxiety prior to that I was able to handle reasonably well. In early July it started getting out of control again and then my partners brother died in an accident towards the end of July and it has really been out of control since.
I deeply appreciate your reply and your encouraging words. I spent alot of yesterday going over old posts, it was very helpful. It is also invaluable to know that you are so close and that you understand as a victim of anxiety how powerful and overwhelming anxiety is, when it is at full blast. Thanks again for reply Kay. Hope you are ok yourself. Best wishes Tom
Hi. Tom. Sorry to feel you are going through a bad time right now. I hear your fear and anxiety. But remember it will pass. Acknowledge it and reach out to someone, as you just did here, and know it will pass. Dont run from it and I know thats a tempting option but it will only chase you and bite you. I thought once I had dealt with or was dealing with initial issues that caused panic in me in the first place was adressed then I would be all better but it doesnt ever go away completely. There will always be a trigger to anxiety. So do you know what caused this particular bout of anxiety? When did it start? Once you know that it doesnt just come from nowhere and you know what triggers it then it doesnt for me at least, become a rampaging demon that im scared will go out of control.
You will be ok you know. You have been here before and you felt better so you will feel better again. Nothing ever stays the same. I promise you, you will be grand. Just keep talking on here or in a diary or to a pal. Your not alone Tom please remember that always.
I hope some of my long lost friends get this post Possibly Kay and Miss Determined. Really going through a very bad patch of anxiety right now. It crept up on me and before I knew it, it has become a full blown attack, the worst I have had for 5+ years.
I felt I was doing ok, but of course forgot that this thing never goes away, it only hides in the grass until it chooses it optimum time to strike.
I really need some emotional support here so I would love if somebody would come back. Happy to return the favour if I can. All the best Tom
Tom, I'm ok. I am getting professional help. It's very difficult with my family situation right now. I am running the risk of loosing my only sister. So I cannt disclose to them what happened because I dont think anyone would believe me.
when I was a child my father drank lots but he gave it up when I was a teenager. Mam says he gave it up because of money worries. I think he gave it up because he realised what he was capable of with drink taken.
I know I will be ok. My head is full of thoughts on the whole situation.
Thanks for your rapid response Tom :)
Kay, I think you need urgent professional help on this one, this is far too big to be trying to sort out on your own or even with a friend. Suggest that when you do make approach for help that you stick rigidly to the topic and working out solution(s) to this horrible issue.
Kind regards Tom
Hi all. Hi Tom. Not feeling great. To put it briefly..rembered my father raping me when I was around 8. I knew what he had done before now but I chose not to face it but now I have to cos it's killing me not talking about it. Him and my mother come up to my house each Thursday evening and I usually avoid eye contact with him and do all sorts of avoidance techniques. But this is not right, it's my home. I haven't told him I remember but im sure he must. I hate pretending were all a happy family when all I want them to do is just leave me alone. I just want to live my life with my family and not see them at least til I work things out in my head. If I ever do. I am going through so many emotions now I'm all over the place. I even starting to defame myself such as calling myself names etc. I really dont need added anxiety.
So I suppose I'm asking u all...how do I tell my parents I don't want them in my house? They will ask why and I cannt run the risk of telling them. They will then tell my sister who will be promptly be on the phone asking why. What do I do?
Read your posting, sorry to hear that you are anxious at the moment.
Suggest as an interim that you get a "replacement friend" for example this site to channel through. Somebody is likely to come back to you within a short period of time.
At a minimum thats what you need to get you through i.e. the knowledge that somebody is listening and hears you.
When the crisis "cools down" you will be able to look at this issue in a little more depth and going forward, possibly put some longer term alternatives in place . No need to rush at that though, just practice (what you have advised us all over some years) your various techniques that help you in difficult situations
Best of luck and keep posting. All the best Tom
Hi all. Going through challenging stuff right now. Plenty of anxiety and some panic.
Once again I know the reasons. I know I have to let these feelings up but not allow them to take over my life. But it's hard to keep doing this when all I feel like doing is curling up in a ball and shutting the world out. I know that is not the answer so I keep on going.
Ive been let down by a friend this week. She promised to be here for me and it turns out she's struggling with doing that. I think her own psychological well being is being severely tested by my childhood issues. I don't put too much upon her. I don't contact her persistently. We have been friends for 23 years. The only thing I asked of her is that if I text her saying" I feel anxious" that all she needs to do was reply "I hear you". That's all I wanted. I texted her Monday night while on the way to college and felt particularly anxious but she never answered. Until two days later. I'm kinda mad with her. But also incredibly disappointed.
She is avoiding me since I told her my father sexually abused me. I didn't tell her any details just how scared I am. I could see when I told her that she was uncomfortable when I told her. I think maybe I touched a nerve.
Just keeping in touch. Kay I have exactly the same sentiments as you and since Miss Determined also agrees, then there must be something in it.
I can very much feel the Winter coming in, in recent days I had a couple of physical health problems, thankfully now resolved.
However for me the whole lot adds to the pereception that Winter is more difficult than Summer times. I am really happy that I have this group to share and support with.
Best wishes Tom
Hi miss determined. Good to hear from you.
Like you I know what helps me and like you I stop doing them
even though I know they help me hugely. I wonder why I do that.
maybe I get fed up doing them or maybe I am self neglecting.
I also beat myself up over it but then I try and be kinder
to myself by forgiving myself and starting again.
Its all one big learning curve. Keep in touch. Kay.
A BIg Hello to everyone on this site ,
Delighted to see that Tom and Kay are still using this forum as they have been so supported when I first came on board. My apologise for not getting in touch for so long but if Im truthful I didnt access the site as I felt I hadn't anything positive to add but I really want to connect more with living my life then closing myself off because of fear ect .so I now appreciate I can and should support this site ..
Tom , good to hear you are doing ok ,Im a bit like you in that I am concerned about the dark winter days approaching .last winter I resorted to overeating , oversleeping , watching to much TV , hiding away , putting on weight ect so this winter I have purchased suitable outdoor clothing to ensure I keep moving outside and enjoy the beauty of the changing landscapes nature has to offer. Doing my mindfulness practise and staying off coffee are part of that plan too as they are very positive things for me .
What amazes me is that I know all the above are beneficial and good choices for me but I cease doing one of them and I begin to regress, my mood falls and my anxiety creeps back . The biggest learning curve fo me as I approach the 'half a century ' mark ,is that I dont have to beat myself up over taking a few steps backwards but I can be kind to myself by choosing to start again taking a baby step rather then a giant step in the right direction.
HI to you Kay , I was sad to read your'e last few posts ,like Tom, I will also keep in touch with everyone this winter and I am sorry I was not available and I did not consider others at the time .Sometimes we really do rely on forums like this to communicate our sadness and pain as we dont want to burden our families. Ive learnt my lesson now and I will keep checking for posts. I am thinking of you and I really hope the sadness has eased a little for you.
Take Care, be kind to yourselves,thinking of you all,
Hi Kay and to all my friends on the site.
I think the Winter time can be very hard on all of us.
For me as soon as the long evenings started going away, I could feel the difference. Made myself go out for a short walk early this morning the minute a drop of the sun broke through. The sun disappeared fast so I was glad to have done the short walk, made me feel a bit stronger and better able to face the day.
Kay, I hope you are doing ok, lets try to support each other over the coming weeks and months. Kind regards Tom
Good to hear from you. I think it's a good idea
too if we all stay in touch throughout the coming months.
This time of year can sometimes prove challenging,
so the support network that we once had going here
would be a welcome thing.
Hi to all other friends. Hope you are doing well.
Hi To All My Friends on this forum,
It is a long time since we have been in touch with each other. I hope you all enjoyed the good weather that this Summer brought to us.
With the imminent onset of Autumn / Winter it would be good if we restart regular contact with one another.
Kind regards Tom
Hi all. my name is Mike and I have been suffering with anxiety for the past 26 years.
does anybody know of a support group in the cork area?
I was diagnosed and treated for 3 seperate causes for my lifelong anxiety, and these treatments also cured my chronic sinusitis , eczema and unrelenting depression. The causes were copper overload, pyroluria and histadelia (high histamine which also causes allergies). I had to take specific amounts of certain nutrients and will forever, but now enjoy much better health generally. Both my blood and urine were tested and the results determined the levels of nutrients required to rebalance my body. I highly recommend researching these conditions as all of them cause anxiety. Several friends have had similar responces also. Very scientific testing and a very natural cure ,with no nasty side effect
Kay and all my friends on the site, sorry for not been in touch. I am keeping reasonably well as I hope you all are.
Kay that is very unfortunate that you are currently not in a good place, at least you know the reasons. Apply all the very effective techniques that you have learned and shared with us over the years. Hopefully things will get better for you over a period of time.
All the best to everyone. Kind regards Tom
Where are miss determined, buzz and Tom? We had a good support group going
here pretty continuously for a while. I miss that so much. I'm not in a great place right now. But I know the reasons. Kay.
thanks for taking the time to respond to my message. I suppose anxiety of all kinds is common and it helps to know that there is help out there.
Hi Arora. I think we all have
OCD tendencies. I know I do particularly when I am feeling
anxious. It can escalate at certain times.