Binge Drinking ruining my life

# 44

Posted: 29/04/2013 12:36

Instead of reading book you should do some practical...like taking excess amount of water to get rid of hangover.. 

# 43

Posted: 05/02/2013 11:50

I only go out about once or sometimes twice a month and dont tend to drink at home, once in a blue moon! So drinking is not a regular thing for me, the problem is when I do go out I get that drunk I black out and either cause fights, disappear (only god knows where), or just do something that is totally out of character and I wouldn't ever do in a million  years if I was sober.  I hate the drunk me! I just dont know when to stop, if I just drink enough to stay merry and loosen up a bit then all is good, but if I happen to have the one drink too many I change completely.  Due to my behaviour on the weekend just gone I may have lost the absolute love of my life, I am trying to fix things but I dont know if it will make any difference. I am a big health freak, all about exercise, healthy eating etc. so I dont understand how I allow myself to get in that state. Its like another person takes over.  I have probably ruined everything.  My advice to anyone experiencing the same problem, if you dont know when you have had enough - stop completely before you mess up everything. 

# 42

Posted: 16/11/2010 11:19

mickey10, most people have a few bad experiences with drink, but if it's a regular thing that you can't control I would seriously consider giving up drink. Unless you can go out, drink slowly and keep a limit on it ALL the time. Your problem doesn't seem to be too bad. I mean you seem to be able to stop drinking handy enough, or you can go out and have a few. We all know serious alcoholics that spend all day every day in the pub and every penny they get goes across the bar. At least it's not ruining your life that way. But if it's effecting you life so negatively, and you're harming others (fights, friendships, verbal abuse) I would seriously consider giving up completely if you don't feel you can control it before something serious happens and you end up in jail. I would avoid AA who seem to be almost like a religious cult and get in contact with somewhere like the rutland centre or alcohol ireland.

# 41

Posted: 12/11/2010 22:05

Hello Mickie,

I see from what you wrote that you know what the outcome will be when you drink, you always blackout, as late as last week. You wish you had more awareness about alcohol when you were 16. Mickie that's gone, the past cant be changed.

 But you have awareness now, today, that's a good thing. You have choices today. You can change things for the better for you. It seems to me you are not a happy person when you drink, it only gets you into trouble and pulls you down.

Give alcohol a miss for now and during this time if you could find a good councillor, somebody to listed. Would you consider talking to someone in Alcoholics Anonymous, don't get me wrong I am not saying you are an alcoholic, its just that these people understand like nobody else the different effects alcohol has on individuals. It will help you understand and make sense of things. Good luck Mickie.

# 40

Posted: 11/11/2010 00:50

Hi here's my life, im 28 and last week when I drank i blacked out. i figured out the next morning that i had left my bag with keys in pub. I had kicked my own window in to get into my house!! I remember nothing. A few mths ago i kicked my own front door in again blackout. The first time i drank i was 16 on family holiday i got blackout and didnt show up till nxt morning ruining the holiday! Then 18 started college, first day drinks after i made a disgrace of myself was blackout and lost all respect with nearly everyone. Several college nights out followed all blackouts, fell asleep on streets, got sick on myself, never chatted to girls like the other lads wasted the best years in my opinion. Start new job, work nights out blackouts, fights, abusing girls, kicked out of bars, stealing drinks, not remembering a thing mostly! Once i woke up in a pool of blood and had to get stitches in my head, ive destroyed almost every friendship in that i now have none. The thing is i can go months without a drink and have even had better nights where i controlled my drinking but they are few. I let my guard down last time and ended up kicking my window in!! Ive tried counselling which seemed to point at childhood bullying incident contributing to low self esteem and anxiety and ultimately drinking faster when around people and then when vhen v drunk taking all that repressed anger out on anything and anyone. I honestly think im up there for the biggest disgrace ever and wish i could have done it all differently. If only i could of read this letter on the plane when i was 16!!

# 39

Posted: 30/10/2008 21:58

Good Luck Mate.

# 38

Posted: 30/10/2008 16:41

Thanks guys am feeling better last day or so-we had a chat and gonna try and take it easy for a while and be aware of how much is enough. If that goes sideways then I will seek help. I think moderation is the key to things. Thanks for the advice.

# 37

Posted: 30/10/2008 00:05

Hi Vinny,

Writing to this forum was your first step. The second most important thing is you are aware of the fact that as you said ' this is not the man you wish to be'. Vinny have you heard of binge drinking, this is what you are doing. I can see that you love your wife and children and you are trying to understand what is happening to you. Would you consider counselling, believe me it does work and I am not implying that you have a problem with your mind for that you would need a shrink. A counsellor is totally different, they will listen to you and guide you. Give it a try Vinny please, you will see, things will get better.

Let me know how you get on.

# 36

Posted: 29/10/2008 22:57

To Vinnie,

You sound as though you are a kind husband and father and it
is troubling you that you are drinking, and you said it yourself that you don't want to be the way you are and through personal experience I know very well that you mean it. Also, I know that you are answering your own question, drink has a hold on you and you don't like one little bit. An alcoholic does one have one specific pattern so forget that. Just ask yourself the next time you want a drink "can you do without it" and stay away from it not having a need for it, FOREVER! When something happened to your Nana what did you go for "a drink". Its not the taste its the feeling you get, and it will take more drink as time goes on to get to that "feeling" and eventually you won't get that feeling but you WILL need that drink. Then your liver problems kicks in! the road to hell.

The choice is always down to us (one) you stay away from alcohol and have a great married life with no feeling of guilt because you have nothing to hide and more important you can feel a great sense of achievement, now thats a good choice.
(two)You could continue to drink at anytime and as much as
you like but remember you know that you have a drink problem and so does your family. You have to live pretending
that you "didn't have a drink" or "you only had one" etc. the guilt is overbearing. Your wife and children are walking on egg shells around you, like in my instance one of your children eventually wishes you never come in the front door that you are dead God! that second choice (to continue drinking) is the direct road to hell!

I am sorry to point out the above but if it helps you and your family you will thank me in the long run. Your letter was MY letter a couple of years ago so I wish you the very best of luck mate, you deserve it.

# 35

Posted: 29/10/2008 14:08

hi vinni
i drink some nights too. i like a glass of wine to unwind. I do not think you are an acholic if u don't drink in the morning or all day. do you lose you temper when you are drinking? if so then i would seek help. sorry i cant be of more help. i thought the same when i was drinking some nights, my family made me feel like i had a problem. my husband told them all that i dont have a problem and to leave me alone. i can go without drink.

# 34

Posted: 28/10/2008 12:53

Hi am new to this so be gentle please............I think I may have a drink problem! My wife is at wits end I am grand for a while then go off the deep end! Sunday night was just having few cans at home and then they were gone so was 2 bottles of beer so drank them as well! Should've went to bed! Wife got up I was a little upset as had received bad news about my Nana and then decided would be good idea to crack opena bottle of wine! i drank about a 3rd of it then went to bed. This is not the man I wish to be! We have 2 small children and it's not fair on anyone including me to drink like that. It's not the first time i seem to be okay in most situations and then sometimes I just want to drink and drink and i don't get tipsy or sleepy so can just keep going! I am not sure I am an alcoholic cause I don't drink in the mornings or everyday mostly just at weekends and occassions just sometimes don't know when to stop! If could offer some advice other than AA I would be grateful, I don't want this to continue

# 33

Posted: 22/05/2006 15:20

I know what you mean Tavan, I find that you are slagged off for not drinking if you choose not to.I think if you were an admitted alcoholic that people would leave you alone but I definitely think we have a huge drinking culture in Ireland and not drinking is not that common

# 32

Posted: 22/05/2006 08:36

I have to agree with both Shirley and Tavan in a sense. To the point that I find the older generation (ones in the 60's) the worst when it coems to pushing drink on a prson. Even when I explain hat I'm driving, it's always s'sure won't you be grand', sure you'll have the one', sure go on out of that, sure one won't do you any harm.

Wheras, my own generation (30's) simply need ot be told - no thanks, I don't feel like drinking tonight or no thnaks, I'm driving and it's never questioned.

# 31

Posted: 20/05/2006 12:16

Dear Tavern. I'm not sure you know you're not an alcoholic at all? You have trouble moderating your drinking, and your drinking leads to blackouts, and you are preoccupied with drink/alcohol. I can see you have decided drinking CAN be a problem for you, and that maybe you can learn to drink more moderately. My suggestion is to see how that goes for you, but if you find moderating difficult over the long term, then perhaps it might be worth re-visiting the question of alcoholism as it relates to you. Over the short term, most alcoholics can achieve some sort of compromise with themselves - if for no other reason than to prove themselves not to be alcoholic!! Because the biggest dread of all problem drinkers and alcoholics is that they might have to consider they simply cannot drink 'normally', and thus need to consider quitting. "QUITTING?!!" I hear you shout, "You gotta be kidding!"

What is the difference between a problem drinker and an alcoholic? Often, there's no difference other than the problem drinker doesn't like the "Alcoholic" label.

I go to pubs often and don't drink alcohol. Tavern, it's not a big deal unless you make it one! People who say "a shure go on" will quickly stop bothering, because as a previous poster said, bottom line: they don't care. People don't drink for all sorts of reasons, including that they have to drive. You are the one made it a big pronouncement to your friend over from London, and this is because YOU find it weird, not everybody else. Yes, in Ireland there'll always be those who pass commment, but my guess is that those who do so might question their OWN attachment to the pub and the booze. Be your own person! Because I know from bitter experience that when the proverbial hits the fan, those bar flies won't be around to help you pick up the pieces; they'll be too busy getting refills for themselves. It's YOUR life, and take it from one who's been there - life is just FANTASTIC, WONDERFUL, fullsome and FREE without being a slave to King Booze.

# 30

Posted: 19/05/2006 16:40

God, Tavern, I don't see anyone pushing drink on people. I find them all very accepting when you point out that you are not drinking. People are only concerned about themselves. Why should they be concerned whether you have a drink or not?

# 29

Posted: 19/05/2006 15:26

I am so glad this thread is getting so much great feedback. I went out with a friend of mine last night who is living in London now , she is home for a few days and she asked me to go out with her for a few drinks last night. I am working today so I told her I would meet her but I wouldnt be drinking as I wouldnt get anything done in work. she said ok but as soon as I went into the pub and ordered my sodawater and lime EVERYONE started getting on to me , ah go one you'll have a drink, shur you'll have one. It really maddens me. Its very very hard for me to sit in a pub and moderate my drinking so to sit and NOT drink at all is damn near impossible WHY CANT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT .Why do people in this country push the notion that you have to have a drink to enjoy anything. Even when I was worried about my drinking and I sought counselling about I told 2 of my closest friends about it I was told I was over-reacting and dont be so silly.... I knew I wasnt an alcoholic but I did have a problem in that I abused alcohol , sad thing is thats not seen as a problem here and thats why its so hard to get help
Am I The only one that thinks that our attitude to drinking is way to lax

# 28

Posted: 18/05/2006 22:03

I have been through the same difficulty 2years ago and would not admit it to myself like you do. My family disliked it very much but were very much enabling me at the same time. Finally I went to a doctor and by a rather simple bloodtest he realized that i was going to need expert help and he made an appointment with an Alcohol Treatment centre where I was for 8 weeks. I could never have done it so successfully on my own, I came out and I know that I can never drink again in my life, but I don't treat this smugly, I still go from one day to the next. By now I am again totally healthy, my liver has completely recovered which it cant do if the damage is too great. I feel so happy and content and i know I could not have coped with the stress of life had i not done this. I had to immediately turn around as my husband was diagnosed with Altzheimer. I had to sell our house and move into a Flat and eventually put my husband in care as I am not able to look after him. with all that on top if me i still feel so glad i can now cope with everything that life will throw at me and my children are very proud of me as well. O do not keep this desease a secret from my friends either, it helps when anybody starts off saying"have just one, it wont do you any harm". Please go to your GP and ask him for help, please

# 27

Posted: 17/05/2006 17:32

Glad to read you are doing better Tavan. As an alcoholic in recovery for 7 years now I totally understand where you and Susie are coming from. In my case I stayed away from a drink for 4 years on my own after realizing my drinking was causing alot of problems for me. But that shame you talked about remained with me and I eventually drank again. I controlled myself for a further 3 years. It was a total of about 7 years until I actually got drunk again! I was so devastated the next day, I felt so bewildered as I'd had a blackout and I was filled with guilt shame & remorse. That wasn't enough though I went on to get drunk another 2 times, 3 months later and 4 months after that. That last time was April 1999. I have been sober since. Alcoholics Annonymous has changed my life completely.I no longer feel bored or left out. My life is so full there isn't enough hours in the day! There are many young people in AA, just like you. I've even met 16 year olds! The younger you get it the better, that way you have the rest of your life to enjoy. Like somebody else said don't make your mind up after one meeting. Go to several, there's usually a good few in every county and if you leave Ireland they're practically in every town all over the world. You never have to feel alone with your problem again!

# 26

Posted: 17/05/2006 16:18

Hi Susie, I know exactly how you feel thats exactly what I was doing , I was going out with my mates and didnt think I was drinkin anymore than anyone else or doing anything that the others werent doing but my nights out were a complete blank. I could never remember anything (or very little the next day) I often had cuts and bruises I didn’t remember getting I lost phones jackets and purses and I argued with more people than I care to remember. I never woke up thinking god that was a good night I’d always wake up thinking oh god what did I do. I have fallen spilt drinks, gotten sick, fought with people and anything else you care to mention. It sounds really stupid but the only thing to do is just to stop and look at yourself. I hit a low a few months ago when I got into a physical fight (something I had never done in my life) and had to be told the next day because I didn’t remember a bit of it, that’s when I started this thread. I just looked at what I was doing and thought, god this is not me. I stayed in for a while and that doesn’t really work either so I have literally just started watching what I drink I only drink the same drink I don’t mix I never ever drink shots and I pace myself I cannot tell you how much better I feel about my social life and myself, the thing I found most frustrating was that (other than one or two people who took me to task and told me to cop on to myself)EVERYONE said shur its grand your doing no harm, thing is I was doing harm . I was living in fear of what I had said or done and I was utterly mortified all the time if you don’t feel good about yourself then you have to change it up just pace yourself try and enjoy it. If your anything like me about half way through the night you will think feck it I am going to get locked but if you can just pull yourself back a bit you will really enjoy it more.

# 25

Posted: 17/05/2006 16:02

my drinking is after getting so bad that i cant go out anymore.Im Not an alcoholic i used to go out about once or twice a month but i cant anymore.everytime i go out i can never remember what happened to me the night before. I got so drunk last weekend that i ran off from my friend, smashed my phone against a wall, twisted my ankle, and had about six people out looking for me.and i didnt remember any of it in the morning.things like this happen nearly everytime i go out.i must say that i dont go out on purpose to get hammered, i have a couple of glasses of wine and my night is over. Not only is it embarrassing but its also very dangerous.I do want to go out but i cant.I know my boyfriends had about enough of my drunken abusive phonecalls,I know i have to stop drinking but im 21 what else do 21 year olds do on a saturday night?

# 24

Posted: 12/05/2006 23:35

Yeah, Taven, I agree with Charlie. You haven't got a problem at all. I don't drink but I love a cigarette which helps me to relax just like alcohol does for some people. I'm well past asking myself if I have an addiction to cigarettes as well. We deserve a happy life.

# 23

Posted: 10/05/2006 20:33

Hi Tavana, be fair to yourself .I'm sittin here witha bottle of beer and i'm well past asking myself "do I have a drink problem" no way!. Sittin down and relaxing and taking "time out" is important. We're influenced too much by our previous generation who in turn had the the church as an overseer.Don't undervalue yourself. You are a mother and to be a good one you must have a good evaluation of yourself. Being happy can be achieved.

# 22

Posted: 09/02/2006 16:30

Thank you all for your advice. I feel much better the last few weeks and although I dont think I had a dependency on alcohol I think I was using it as an outlet for all my frustration and angst. What scares me is that I have told people around me over and over again how I was feeling and it seems that nobody seemed to think it was a problem , its very much the "a shur we were all bladdered" or " shur everyone does that up and down" the problem was it makes me feel worthless when I do it and I am wracked with shame and embarassment for weeks on end. I plan on sorting myself out properly but it was great to finally have somebosy say to me "No its not all in your head"

# 21

Posted: 27/01/2006 14:08

My God, Mary, Thanks for that! Who was known as The Great Philosopher! Maybe I'm following in his footsteps at last!
But seriously, as a publican you have the greatest variety of people to talk to. Most of the time you will get at least an hour talking to each individual that comes in. In a shop people are just in and out. But in the pub you practically go right across the whole spectrum of humanity in its various personalities. You will automatically be drawn into an empathy with people and this forms the whole nourishment of your pub.
My views may be quite different with regards to the alcoholic than some people's. I will be coming from a place of knowing my individual alcoholics and from the success's we have had in the past. We have of course sadly had a few unsuccessful ones. But I think that there is no publican out there who does not care about the alcoholic. I find it scary to see a product that I am serving causing so much hardship and when it happens it certainly does make me question why I am here.

# 20

Posted: 26/01/2006 15:41

Publican, I recognise ou from the smokign threads and having seen your posts on other discussions, you strike me as a bit like a kind of philosopher!! Really you do!

# 19

Posted: 26/01/2006 13:47

Sure Mary, maybe I am a bit of a hypocrite. But the man above put me here probably for a special reason and that is the way I see my job. Someone has to do it and it would be better to be in here to keep an eye on things rather than contributing to these problems. I take great pride in some of the work I do. While I have to make a living my priority is to bring people together, help them solve problems and help them to find happiness in whatever way they can.
I am deeply concerned about the alcoholic because I have dealt with this isssue in the past and sometimes in life we are drawn to places that will teach us about these problems. The more I saw, the more I realised that my own father wasn't actually an alcoholic afterwards but just annoying at the weekends. As a child these weekends stood out and I never remember looking properly at the times when he was off the drink. Yet, in my mind I gave him the title of an alcoholic.
Observing people's drinking habits is a huge part of my job. Sometimes I just feel like a spy in amongst them, watching, asking questions and refusing.
Running a public house is far more complex than anyone realises.

# 18

Posted: 26/01/2006 12:30

I suppose I should call you a hypocrite becuase you're selling the stuff but at least your in a situation where you can see hat's going on and have an insight into it.
These women who binge drink and have the larger families, I wonder could anything be done to help them as regards coping skills? or even parentsing classes.
Also, why does it not affect the fathers?

# 17

Posted: 25/01/2006 23:46

Top Cat, How did you find the MSC in Psychology specialising in addiction? Was it interesting? Did it help you?
Binge drinking amongst females who have children would be very understandable to me. I have watched this one for years and I found their worst binge drinking times were when the kids were off school. They are usually mothers who have at least four children. I also find that young women tend to try and keep up with the younger men as a way of fitting in. Once a steady relationship starts though, this tends to decrease dramatically. It is rare I found anyway, to have an actual alcoholic woman in the pub. Most of these are silent drinkers, much more than men. Women I believe are more consious of showing their image to the crowd rather than men.

# 16

Posted: 19/01/2006 21:15

As a recovering alcoholic (5 years )who ended up going through the Priory and then went on to do an MSC in Psychology specialising in addiction I can honestly say that I could not have stopped drinking without expert help .That was the way for me ,but many people go different ways and I have great respect for them . Binge drinking is more common in females but no-one seems to have any real idea why . I have met some people who were probably not confirmed alcoholics but wanted to stop anyway-lots of people don't drink .I would not pretend to be an expert ,but it would sound like you are certainly heading for full blown addiction . Also additions usually come in pairs so you will have two areas to address.None of this is bad news just get used to the idea that you may well become an alcoholic if you continue to drink because it will get worse . I am not suggested that you need to go to the Priory ,it is very expensive , but for some people it is the only way and being isolated in a very safe environment for 4 weeks is an excellent start to giving up completely .Anyway think about stopping soon and do some research to find what method suits you best-sheer will-power doesn't work either-but if you or anyone else wants a little help just ask .

# 15

Posted: 19/01/2006 15:08

I don't think that they want to drink at all but they want to socialise. Drink is just the means for socialising. People in Ireland are great mixers, very easy going and brilliant speakers. They actually don't realise how good they are maybe because no-body really tells them. If they concentrated on this area completely they wouldn't drink half as much. But a lot of people's self-esteem is low and there are a variety of reasons for this. Here in Ireland we tend to throw out very little praise and pay attention more to what is wrong. We do it in the home, in the schools and in the workplace. People should be praised far more often even for the smallest of things.
This can be seen so plainly in the pub. People are nervous of each other and nervous of disapproval. They have got it into their heads that the drink will make them feel better and will bring them out of their shells. So when they reach a certain amount of drink they suddenly become everybody's best friend.
To bring people back into focus I have often said something like: "Christ, Peter, what happened you last night? And you were Perfect the night before." It works! Peter realises that we prefer him on his "perfect" night and tends to control himself more in the future. But of course there are always exceptions. Overall though I believe that the way to go in controlling drink in this country is to boost the nations self-esteem because it is this that is at the heart of our drinking culture.

# 14

Posted: 19/01/2006 13:56

I think so many peole drink to relieve pressure or stress or they feel they need it just to relax.

# 13

Posted: 19/01/2006 13:02

I am as guilty as anyone regarding falling out of a pub in the early hours. I do enjoy a drink. I get merry & I get drunk now and then. What I want to know is where did Ireland get this massive drinking culture from? Why as a nation do we love to drink? Id love to hear peoples opinions on this. Is there a phychological explanation for it all?

# 12

Posted: 19/01/2006 12:01

Publican, that is excellent sensible practical advice, in my opinion
Contacting AA is also a very good idea.
The the poster 'Tink i'm it', I wouldn't say that drinking is stupid and a waste of time but as Publican said, there are some people, due to their metabolism or personality or whatever, who cannot drink and I believe Publican has a point there.

# 11

Posted: 18/01/2006 22:44

glad to hear that someone has faced up the reality of drinking in this country at an early age.it is an important issue and one that is ignored because of the culture we have in this country and the attidtude towards drinking ,"ah sure have another one u'll be grand", or "locked last night and cant remember a thing" seems to be a common attitude shared by a lot of irish drinkers. went through the same binge drinking experiences as yourself but unfortunatly these were every weekend and a lot of blackouts occured and was very messed up for a 2 years because of it.
am going through cold turkey at the moment , find it difficult not to drink and feel socailly excluded from a lot of people i know but have taken up sports and started a degree course part time just to occupy my spare time rather than drinking .

# 10

Posted: 18/01/2006 20:35

Please read Alan Carrs book 'the easy way to control alcohol' and you will see the light.Drinking is stupid and a dreadful waste of time. I have a bit of a hangover today so need to read the book again. It is hard , but i feel much happier off drink- a bit bored though, maybe take dance classes. My dad was an alcoholic and I went to the hanly centre, Dunlaoghaire, to acoa meetings for a few years. They can do a test there to see if you are an alco. Hope not. Dreadful soul destroying disease. I hate this binge drinking country at the moment. What a shame

# 9

Posted: 18/01/2006 17:07

Tavan
I admire how open you are about your alcohol use. Many people do not admit or even realise that alcohol is affecting their health, work or family life. Furthermore experiencing the effects of alcohol does not mean you are dependent on alcohol but there is no doubt that many of us would benefit from drinking less.
I would encourage to go to counseling again, this time to a specialist in addiction counseling. All the health service areas have addiction services you could get the number of your local service by ringing Lo-Call 1850241850. They frequently see clients who aren't dependent but as I stated earlrier need support or help in cutting back.
Alternatively you could contact the Rutland Centre in Dublin or maybe your local GP.
Best of luck

# 8

Posted: 18/01/2006 13:50

Taven, There are people out there who actually can't drink. Have you ever thought of that? I am a firm believer that there is a type of allergy for some people and it will have a greater effect on their bodies than other people's. Some people can only have two drinks. After that they literally start transforming before your eyes. The funny thing about this type of person is that it continues throughout their lives and they will always never be able to handle their drink.

# 7

Posted: 17/01/2006 22:29

have you ever thought of asking someone to videotape you when your drunk beleive me when you see what you really look like when your drunk it might help

# 6

Posted: 17/01/2006 19:00

Thanks Publican, It's great to know that there are so many people that care for us.

# 5

Posted: 17/01/2006 16:31

Louise - you're so spot on. I can really relate to your message. thanks - Ciara