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(Friday, 24th Oct, 2014)

Do men prefer older/younger women and does it matter?

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Anonymous  ·  11 Aug 2006
So a question to the more mature ladies. What type of relationship do you want with younger men, eg a casual one nighter or a long-term relationship? How many out there would go for a casual one nighter with a younger man?

In response being a guy it often crosses my mind. If you are in a bar and a mature lady catches your eye and she looks back you wonder if she wants you to approach her. And as a guy you definately would take the experience of a one-night stand. My question is because we men would like to know is there more on offer out there than what we know?
 

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Anonymous  ·  29 Jul 2006
hi all,im a 42 year old woman and my partner of 4 years is a young and tender 25 year old !! we have had our age related problems to battle with but sure doesnt everyone have something.
 

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cindy  ·  07 Apr 2006
hi all i am a 46 year old female and presently am in a very serious relationship with a 26 year old male . i knew this lad for a long time before we started dateing we are both very happy and the most supprising thing for me was nobody batted an eyelid when we did start going out. 2 of my childeren are older than him and they all get on fine. as yet we dont live together but i think it maybe on the cards soon. i dont expect to keep him forever but who knows......
right now we are deeply in love and loving it...
so to all you females out there life realy does begin at 40 lots of luck to you all....
 

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Anonymous  ·  07 Apr 2006
Im a 21yr old female, i have been going out with a man whos four years older than me for the past three years.We have had no problems within our relationship which have been caused or developed because of our age gap. I think the fact that as a couple with an age gap we comlpiment each other- i bring the fun to the relationship and he keeps me in touch with reality. I'm in Univesity at the moment and we live seperately so we miss one another but it ensures that we make the most of the time we do have together more special. An age gap will only cause problems if the couple let it, depending on the gap. I know several happily married coulples with a ten to fifteen year age gap and they are the most solid of all couples i know. My grandmother used to tell me that it's 'better be an old mans darling then a young mans slave'... its working for me at the moment!! Overall i dont think its possible to generalise the question at hand, every person had their own preferances and that will determine the age of the people they choose to be with.
 

771 Posts

fifi  ·  06 Apr 2006
younger men are immature this is why they go for girls even younger than them. Some young men go for older women because they think the older woman as a Mrs. Robinson type & filled with sexual wisdom. Older men will go with anything they can get their hands on. They fool themselves into thinking they can get young girls but instead make a fool of themselves. Older men as one poster said normally just want a bit on the side then go back to poor long suffering wifey.
 

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Anonymous  ·  05 Apr 2006
i am a young girl and in my work place alot of men of 30-40 are indian and are always trying to get me to go out with them..my boss is 35 and i have casual sex with him..i think men from certain backgrounds prfer different ages.
 

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Anonymous  ·  11 Oct 2005
I am a young Irish male and i usually go for females my age but lately it seems I like younger females
 

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Anonymous  ·  10 Oct 2005
I am a fifty year old woman, but look approx forty. I have been in relationships with men many times where the age difference has been as much as 25 years. They have no problem with that but I suspect if I wanted commitment it would be a big issue!! Younger men are great fun--- short term!
 

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Anonymous  ·  07 Oct 2005
I have to admit, I find it very hard to believe that a percentage of men are going on and on about 20 something woman being immature and materialistic..may i remind you that most 20 something men are just as bad. I am a 25 yr woman and would never dream of dating any guy younger then me. You will find that between the ages of 20-25 yr old men, they are all out to impress and the bigger the better. To say that woman in the early twenties are materialistic is as true as saying younger men are as bad if not worse. It drives me insane to hear men go on and on about younger women..OPEN YOUR EYES BOYS!!!!
 

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Anonymous  ·  06 Oct 2005
I think there is one principal issue here, which manifests itself in a number of ways, and that is to do with lifestages - what each of you are wanting at any one particular time in your lives. Therefore, older man/younger woman may be a common scenario for just having a bit of fun, because that may be all that you both want, particularly if the man already has had family (or doesn't want one) and the woman is, say, in her twenties. However, the older man/younger woman scenario may also apply to men who have yet to have families but who want them. I would put myself into this category, in that as a 38 year old male, I want having a family to be a choice in my future, but I don't want to rush into something with someone any older than me; even women of my own age may be cutting things a little fine. However, I would be uncomfortable dating a woman a lot younger than me (say under 30), as she might not be looking for something serious at that point in time, which may put me in a vulnerable position.

The possibilities are endless, but at the end of the day, if both your objectives in life are much the same, both now and looking to future, then age doesn't really come into it.
 

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Anonymous  ·  04 Oct 2005
I\'m a man and i dont think that it matters if the female is older or younger, its the chemistry that matters. if it clicks then go for it, close your eyes and use your imagination and your chemistry will do the rest.
 

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Anonymous  ·  03 Oct 2005
I'm a 20yr old woman, i definitly prefer older men, young men are just too immature. However i get the impression that older men perfer women their own age or younger. Is this true?
 

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Anonymous  ·  01 Oct 2005
i have read all the comments above and it seems to me that all that is worring them in all of the letters is that they are all concerend about AGE., yes AGE, well it seems to me that all that matters is ATTRACTION, thats all that matters, in any circumstance it seems that all that needs to happen is for people to catch one anothers eye and that . is that.the circuit is made .power flows and high ho silver away,i would say that its. natural and no one can do anything about it, it is just electric. and natrual.and god help me i fall for it every time;
 

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Anonymous  ·  30 Sep 2005
to Ciarra who is in love with an older man. I don't think there is much of an age gap between you. I think he is running scared because of his experiences with this other woman, and probaly thinks because of the similar age gap that you will treat him the same way eventually.He sounds like he still hasn't come to terms with the hurt she caused him. You need to tell him that he has to stop comparing you to her. You are two completly different people.Its very early in your relationship to start talking about children etc, but he should give the relationship a chance before he casts everything aside,maybe things won't work out for the longterm, who knows, but you could also be the happiest couple alive, but you'll never know if he doesn't give it a chance. tell him stop running from his past and give the future a try.Age is only a date on a calender, whats in a persons heart is more important.My father was 14 years older than my mother and they were very happy. hope things work out for you both.
 

5 Posts

kevin (LLL22927)  ·  30 Sep 2005
its always sad to hear/reado fo someone in Ciarra's situation...the only advice I could give (from a 50s male) is ot to be too eager. Men like a challenge, and the woman I have most respected are those who will walk the path with me, but not bend over and surrender. maybe you should call around to your boyfriends place to collect your toothbrush etc, and let him see that you are still there for him - BUT NOT FOR LONG. You have other options, let him see that you love him but intend to get on with your life. He may be going through some uncertainties, but the challenge should stimulate to him to respond - if that doesn't work, nothing else is likely to. I hope it works out for you, Ciarra!

Regarding the issue of men with children (or women with children) from previous marriages/affairs, the love of a parent for a child is very different to the love between two adults. I would not feel threatened by a woman haeing a child from a previous relationship, so long as she is able to accommodate both me and the child - and it is possible. After all,we love our parents, and that doesn't prevent us loving others. Love is infinite, it does not come in a box of a certain size - giving love to someone does not mean less for the other people in your life.
 

2 Posts

ciarra  ·  30 Sep 2005
I by chance happened to look at my email today and instead of deleting it I logged on. Now I know why. I recently began a relationship with the most wonderfull older man. I am 24 he is 36. When we met he discussed his fears of the age gap and said he could not persue anything with me. Then despite his best intentions we began dating, the past few weeks have been the happiest and most fulfilling I have had with any man before.(and I am no stranger to dating despite my age!)I have fallen for this guy hook line and sinker but I knew it was only a matter of time before his doubhts resurfaced. And they did he ended our relationship last night. Despite my valid arguments that any problems he forsees are not a problem to me. He dated a younger woman ten years his junior, prior to me and is now running scared because of his previous exp's. I have never felt this way about anyone before, and I thought I had felt love, but this surpasses my wildest fantasies. I understand this mans fears but dont know how to pacify them, he wants kids and a family and I am willing and wanting to do all that with him. These things dont happen overnight anyway I want to know and love this man I want to be with him despite the age gap. I need advice from anyone who may have encountered this before. If its not too late how do I sooth his fears, I know he feels the same way but is just scared of getting hurt. Or do I just walk away and let someone I have an amazing connection with choose a different path. Desperate for advice....
 

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Anonymous  ·  29 Sep 2005
Couldn't agree more with previous
message sender - age and circumstance are unimportant where there is a real chance of 2 soul
mates getting together ! If it's a thing that 2 people are lucky to hook up together and they are meant for each other, working thru'
things as a couple is a sure way of strengthening a solid relationshiop. Life ain't no dress
rehearsal - it's the real thing !
 

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Anonymous  ·  29 Sep 2005
Does it matter really whether a Guy has children or not if there is something special between 2 people in this changing world when it is getting harder to meet people why not take a chance on being happy if you've met someone
 

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Anonymous  ·  27 Sep 2005
Anon 15:09 I take your points alright, but I have to say none of that was ever an issue with this guy. He still saw his son, but I never felt like I was second best. I just think it isn't fair to write off a guy simply because he has a child. There are so many guys out there who have fathered children and don't care what happens them, that I think the ones who do care should be given a chance. Maybe I was lucky to meet a decent one or maybe I'm just too soft...
 

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Anonymous  ·  27 Sep 2005
Anon 14.41, perhaps your friend wasn't being superficual. I , also, was 'warned off' a very nice guy who had a chiuld by a previous relationship.
The reason given for the warnign was
1. He has emtional baggage an at 31 do you reeally ant to deal with a lifetime of someone else'semotional baggage
2. He has and will always have a tie to his ex becuase they have a child together
3. His daughter will always be his first priority therefore you will never be the most important woman in his life.
 

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Anonymous  ·  27 Sep 2005
I am an almost 30yr old female and I also agree that there is a lot of superficial people out there. I went out with a lovely guy last year for a while (it didn't work out in the end, but that's life). However he has a child from a previous relationship & when I mentioned this to my friend, she warned me off straight away which I couldn't understand. I ignored her advice on this occasion as I couldn't see the problem & to be honest, I still can't. It's just so superficial, but I know she's not the only one who thinks like that. Which of us wants to be judged so superficially?
 

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Anonymous  ·  27 Sep 2005
To the 20 year old male. 'm a 32 year old female and at risk of being shouted down, I have to agree with you.
And the shallowness and materialistic superfical attitude does not end at 20+ with some women.
A couple of weeks ago I as ina bar with 2 friedns, one of whom was being chatted up by a seemingly very nice guy.
He went his seperate way and friend No2 pointed out to No1 and I I that he was wearing a rolex ( didn't even notice that he was wearign a watch)
To which friend No1 replied that it must have been a fake rolex as the second hand ticked wheras on a genuine rolex, the second had sweeps!!
I didn't now whether to be surprised or amused.
I laughed all the way to the Taxi rank.
 

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Anonymous  ·  26 Sep 2005
I just had to respond to this!Firstly I am 20 year old MALE.
The women of today in my age category sicken me!They are materialistic and superficial and seem to be generally attracted to the idiot jock stereotype you see on a sat night throwing beer at his friends while they all cheer him on.
I went out with a french girl when i was 18,she was 23 and it was probably the most fulfilling relationship i've ever had,she was intelligent and real.her age meant nothing to her nor I.Age is just a state of mind,forgive the clichee but i really believe it!
 

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Anonymous  ·  22 Sep 2005
Talking about some men being insecure...
I would say that men going for younger woman could be the ones that are insecure. Adult women of the 21th century is known to be strong. we dont need men to fullfill our lives - we can do what ever we want and in our own write. That might frighten some men - especially the ones who dont dare to live with equality in a relationship. So hurrah for younger men doing older women. They must like the challence of selfconscious and experienced women. They are not afraid of unforseen response. Might have reconized that they them self can develop a much more interesting male personality from such relationships.
 

1 Posts

Jane (SDU11543)  ·  21 Sep 2005
I think many men, especially those age 40 and over, prefer younger women. But I don't know why. Many older men often used younger girls/women just for pleasure to make them feel younger and refresh. But this is not very health.It is ok for older men age 40 and over to relationship/marry a young women age 30 and over, look health better than other women under 30. I am 30 myself and I had never been in relationship with any man age over 35. I would prefer to have a man at around my age group between 27-35. I would accept those 40 if they look younger snd their physical appearances look better too. I agree with many others that AGE DOES NOT MATTER, but I feel that this can be both 'Yes' and 'No'. The answer 'Yes' because of love that they already had. It is the power of love that affects them.The answer 'No' because of the family reason. It is ok for a younger men under 20 to have a relationship with a older woman age over 40 or marry her, but the matter is FAMILY as many women age over 40 often stop birth due to their healthy cycle. Also, if they adopt a child/ren, then they can have family problems too in terms of caring of their children and the length of time that older woman/man spend on living with child/ren before their life expectancy end. Children will probably also feel well with older parent/s. But this does not apply to those who do not want children and are just for relationship or married just to stay together or cohabitation with no children.
 

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Anonymous  ·  16 Sep 2005
I'm 29 yrs old man and very single. Over the years I have found older women more on the same wavelength as myself in everyway. I recently broke up with a 22 yr old girl. I'll call her a girl because after a while I found her childishness intolerable. She thought she was good in bed but it wasn't very much. I always recall when I was younger, in my teens, I was always attracted to older women and I'd say most of my sexual partners were older than me, some 2 to 10 yrs older than me. But somehow as time goes by I seem to be getting more attracted to younger women, say from 18 to 25 yrs old. I don't think I'm attracted to them in a kind of long term relationship idea. I've tried that. I just like short term flings, not necessarily one night stands. Though, talking of long term I'd really like to find someone about my own age, say between 28 and 32 yrs old. I would not be interested in anyone over 40, but saying that I'd be very tempted by a woman who's around 42 who works in the same building as me. But she's very beautiful and very hot. So, what I think I'm saying is, if a woman's attractive why not but not for the long haul. I don't fancy getting settled with a 50yr old. When I'll be 50 she'd be 70. That's too much of a gap at that age.
 

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Anonymous  ·  15 Sep 2005
Anon 12/09 23.33
Perhaps you should be a little more careful with your phrasing. As a 21 year old I found it very disturbing that not only are you sleeping with women of my age but also that you make comments like 'Thank heavens for little girls'. Remarks like this are truly disconcerting and alarming for not only women of my age but women and girls both younger and older than I also.
 

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Anonymous  ·  15 Sep 2005
Impossible to generalise. In my opinion for short terms relationship ie. one night to one month, definitely younger women. For a proper long term relationship same age or older.
 

84 Posts

carol (UCA20270)  ·  15 Sep 2005
it makes me so mad when i hear these aul fellas say about a woman> " she was mad for it". do they think they are not easily replaceable or what?
 

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Anonymous  ·  15 Sep 2005
Anon - as a rural female with plenty of both urban and rural frinds of both sexes, I think your view on ural men is very outdated. I AGREE THAT IT MAY HAVE BEEN AILD IN THE 50'S or even 60's in some remote areas but not in 2005
 

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Anonymous  ·  15 Sep 2005
In rural areas men seem to prefer younger women with good childbearing potential. Some rural men have the view that women over 35 are a waste of time and are looking for a women in her 20s to bear them strong sons. In urban areas age differences don't seem to matter as much but when it comes to marriage Irish men tend to be traditional and marry a girl at least a year or so younger. I look younger than my age and have been in situations where guys are very keen to talk to me until they find out my real age (38), then they make their excuses and leave.
Ireland is still a very ageist society, particularly where women are concerned.
 

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Anonymous  ·  13 Sep 2005
I am 52 and my Husband is 26. We met and fell inlove nearly 5 yrs ago, we married on the 28th June (2005) and are extremely happy. Age does not come into the relationship. Neither of us set out to look for younger/older partners, it just happened that way. I was married for nearly 30yrs, and a very well respected member of the community and I thought what will people say when they hear about my relationship with a younger guy. In the end i didnt care what others thought, so long as my family and friends are ok with it to hell with the rest of the community. I have never known what love was until now and I say who ever you are whatever you are go for it so long as you are two consenting adults. I recomend this love to everyone, be it male or female...
 

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Anonymous  ·  12 Sep 2005
Well I'm a middleaged man of 52, and nothing will shock me with the woman of to-day. I was out with a few of the mates some weeks ago and we visited a pub on our crawl. I ended up talking to a young lady in her early 20's she was in a relationship with a man of 38 and after a couple of drinks we ended up back in her place for the night "she was mad for it " and thankfully I was able to oblige her I didn't even bother exchanging phone numbers , it was a one off and I'm glad for that. "Thank heavens for little girls".
 

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Anonymous  ·  12 Sep 2005
Well Im 16 and theres a 23 year old Spanish dude whos always after me which I find a bit disturbing.
I dont really know if they prefer younger or older though. Everyones different.
 

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Anonymous  ·  04 Sep 2005
I\'m Swedish, not Irish, but in my country we don\'t look much at birth certificates. we just want LOADS OF SEX 24-7-365!!!
 

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Anonymous  ·  04 Sep 2005
I'm an older danish woman having a loving relationship with a 7 year younger irish man. I know that my sexual lust has grown over the years. I also know what I want from a real man. So my partner and I gets good sex. He is not insecure - he would not have dared picking me up if he was... besides - I prefer younger men...
 

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Anonymous  ·  07 Jul 2004
26y/o male

i'm not insecure, but i feel that older women have more to offer and they know what they want in bed! I like that in a woman.....younger women are like "a sack of potatoes" in bed and just lie there and take it! Older women prefer to try other positions and techniques....most young women would prefer to sleep with an older woman! So older women don't be afraid to chat up us younger men!!!...
 

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Anonymous  ·  02 Jul 2004
insecure men prefer older women as they are looking for a mother figure.
 

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Anonymous  ·  01 Jul 2004
There aren't many confident, strong-minded men in Ireland. And it's a bit of a generalisation to say that they all relate better to younger women. When I'm out most of the older men I meet are married/separated and looking for a bit on the side. Hardly strong-minded or confident! I'd much rather a younger man (and I get chatted up by plenty) who is honest and upfront to an older man who is only looking for extra-curricular activity. Having said, I'd appreciate being chatted up by an honest and upfront older man, if such a species exists!
 

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Anonymous  ·  29 Jun 2004
Insecure men relate better towards older women- because they are looking for a mother figure.A more confident, strong-minded man relates better towards younger women.
 
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