Manic Depression/Personality Disorder Traits
Hello, not sure if anyone still monitoring this thread. My sister is suffering (we believe) from borderline personality disorder , posibly mis diagnosed as bipolar. Can anyone recommend a good starting point to seek a therapist well competent in this area? We live in the west of Ireland. The family have been trying to cope with this for over ten years now, and there are four young children involved. any help greatly appreciated
Hi, I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder/depression about 10 years ago, i have been on different types of antidepressants. Im generally a moody/emotional person. Ive had episodes on an off since i was diagnosed. This time though, everything seemed 100 times worse, I hit a low that i couldnt come out of, ive contemplated suicide constantly, Im single, have a 4 year old daughter, I feel like im not doing her any favours being here. I Presented myself to st vincents psychiatric unit on Patricks day 2013 as i felt i could no longer cope with daily life. The have since told me that a working diagnosis is an Emotionally Unstable personality. I feel like im going crazy, im having nightmares, crying constantly crying, and feel completely lost. can anyone help me with this.....
I have started DBT Dialectic Behavioral Treatment in September for Borderline Personality Disorder, the first pilot scheme, outside Dublin, through the Mercy Hospital. It is absolutely fantastic. I have already learnt so much through the training. The team is absolutely fantastic. The basis of the treatment if a mixture of cognitive behaviour therapy and mindfulness (based on zen buddhism). The treatment was put together by Dr Marsha Lineham. I have been waiting for this treatment for 22 years and spent 12 years being hospitalized without being properly diagnosed. Only got diagnosed a few years ago by a private brilliant psychiatrist who was a friend of a friend. Hope this might be of help to someone
This complex disorder is very hard to explain to anyone, i understand because i live with a sufferer, saying i understand i mean that as a career, not as a sufferer. This disorder in the eyes of someone that doesnt know what it is unfortunatly just looks like agreesive unruly behaviour where it is so much more, so much deeper than that and really needs to be recognised, some G.P.'s may still not understand it, the research only goes back about 15 years, the psychirist that diagnosed my daughter in the west has only had 5 cases, only one male, this is because its not understood by many parents, friends and family. I am working very hard at the moment to bring this to light and help people like yourselves and my daughter. I am fortunate to have a sister in the media so she is helping out too.
You are all very strong people really, most people could not deal with what you are going through. I am very proud of my daughter and everyday i look at her i see how wonderful she is and how strong she has become, although she has her really bad bad days were i am afaid it will be her last, or what she might do to me ( i have had black eyes, bruised body and bloody lips) but i know that each day she will get stronger and stronger.
I thank you all for these discussion, keep your chins up, and lets keep chatting.
I'm sorry i took up your point about insulting wrong! I can be very defensive about it. I always feel inadequate, completely and utterly. I had the same problem with my GP and still do, he is still telling me that if I gave up drink I'd be fine. Funny thing is, I hadn't drank in months before i went to see him that day. It is a very serious disorder that no one seems to know how to fix. Therapy? yay, someone else to tell me how much I've screwed up in the last week. Do they not realise that I think that all on my own every second of every day?! Why else would i need therapy!
My mother suffers from it aswell, but they have her so doped up on medication that she's just a zombie most of the time now and doesn't even acknowledge the fact that I have it too. My father blames me for 'causing' my mam to have the disorder, so no support there. I'm afraid to go near my brother and sister in case I 'cause' them to get it too. My friends all left me, didn't understand it and didn't even try. They look at me now like they pity me so so much. I don't know if any of this relates to you guys?
I wonder would a local clinic or something have some information of a support group, even just on line for the area. there are massive ones on google, but there are so many people on them it becomes so impersonal and no help. I really do envy your daughter, my mum has the same disorder but she just tells me to toughen up, and as an alcoholic she drinks to get away from it. I love her so much but she ignores her problems and to accept mine would just be admitting to her own. When I jumped out the window, they came to the hospital stayed with me and we spoke about it once, that was it - it has been ignored ever since.
I lost most of my friends, but now that im getting over it I don't want to be close with them again, I feel really let down by them and think they are so shallow for the way the acted- because in many ways it made me worse. I thought everyone hated me. I used to wish I knew people who understood what was going on and were the same as me, because they at least could be my friend. It sounds pathetic, but it gets so desperate at times.
Im sorry, I can understand how my point about being insulted came across wrong. I meant I find it insulting that it is easier for family friends and members to get support, when it is near impossible for people who suffer with this to get any. I went for years without getting any help, from anyone even though I looked for it. My local GP even told me I was an alcoholic & that if I stopped drinking I would be fine, which was a load of crap because I didnt drink that much. I got through this with the help of my boyfriend only and I am fully aware that i could suffer a 'bad patch' again, in fact I live in fear of the months october to april because thats when all the bad things have happened to me.
If you suffer from this disorder you know the horrible paranoia, the fear of everyone hating you, not understanding and the general aggression towards everyone is uncontrolable. I can only imagine that If I found out family members or friends were "going behind my back", I would flip and it would just set back my recovery. I would feel that even my closest people are betraying me. Of course people are entitled to support, but I just wanted to express the concern that knowledge of this could trigger something with the BPD..because in my case I know it would.
Another thing I suffered with terribly and still do now on occasions is the horrible sense of not being good enough, I mean like not being 'cool' enough, and that people think Im boring. Its just so awful when I get like that, does this happen to you or to your daughter Jeano?
I'm sorry but I don't agree. firstly, her daughter does not need to know that her mam is getting support and secondly, it shouldn't be insulting to you or anyone with the disorder (like myself).
I have done horrible things to people who will not get support from anyone, and it makes me feel worse. and because I feel bad about it, i lash out even more because I think they would be better off without me altogether and want them to leave
I understand what you are saying about my daughter not wanting anyone involved....but as her mum and a single parent its not that easy for me, i am behind her 100% and have never left her side, i have put everything in my life on hold, which i want to do, she is my whole life and my number 1. She worried at one point that i would turn my back on her due to her distructive behaviour but that would never happen, i understand through research that people with boarderline personality disorder abandon people before they are abandoned themselves, fears of rejection. I attend all her appointments, lie with her when she needs me, and have totally accepted that everything that happens is not her fault. I have researched this disorder so deeply that i have tought myself and her coping skills to reduce her behavior, maybe i am lucky in the sense that i worked in high support units with children with behavioural problems.
Your family may not have understood your disorder but i am sure it hurt that they couldnt help you. Medication has really helped, its not too strong but it has got sleeping patterns and eating properly, she even attends school again a few days a week and is making plans for life, her outburst are not as distructive, but still happen, and her physical attacks on me have stopped, we still have a long road ahead of us but she has excepted the disorder, she understands why it happens now.
I live in the west of Ireland but we hail from the east so our family are a 3 hour drive away. If there is any info that i can send i would love to help, but still believe that groups for either the sufferers or family would be a wonderful thing, sharing can always help
Wow, it was a year ago when I sent that annoymous message, its incredible looking back how much has changed. I have managed to get the BPD under control for the moment. To Jeano, your daughter is very lucky to have a mother who wants to help her get better. I dont have that support from my family, but when I think about it during my worst points I hated them all with a passion. Now that I am 'better' I get along great with them, but I have no idea how long this will last.
I would say the best support you could get would be speaking to people who have suffered with this condition for a long time and managed to come to terms with it. You need to understand your daughter and what is making her tick. I felt that nobody really got what was going on. I was such a destructive, aggressive person and it pushed people away. I was horrible to the people I loved but still expected them to be there for me. I ended up in therapy, told my 'lifestory' to the psychiatrist and then was referred to cognitive therapy, which was useless for me - I understood that I needed to change the way I thought, at the time I just didnt want to. But I never went on medication.
For some reason I think that support groups for family and friends of people with BPD is slightly insulting, especially when its very hard to find groups for the people who actually have the disorder which is ruining their life. I understand family and friends go through a hard time of it, but the best support you can get is from one another- if your daughter knows anyone else is involved it could be disastrous for her
Hi, I am very sorry to hear that your daughter suffers from this disorder. It can be so so hard to cope with. I understand what you mean about needing a support group, what part of the country are you in? This will make it much easier to locate one!
My 17 year old daughter was diagnoised with boarderline personality disorder last year. Its been very hard work as anyone thats cares for a child or adult with this disorder will know, i have worked very hard with the professionals and with their constant help and medication it has become some what managable. I spent a lot of time in and out of hospital with her from overdoses, she also has tried to hang herself on so many occassions without success, she self harms and her agreession was out of control, thankfully the agreession is not so bad now. My problem is that i cannot find a support group, i really would love to talk to people in the same situation that understand, can anyone help? Thanks
but just to let you know your not alone in this, i started at 11, im 22 now.v v tired, unemployed, no friends, in a volatile relationship for 2 years, was kicked out of home twice, all because of how i act on a day to day basis.
anyone else got any ideas?
However in december I jumped out of a second floor window and broke my back. Leading up to this I was badly depressed. I was lonely, I thought everyone hated me, paranoia, lack of / disturbed sleep. I couldnt shut my mind down, the smallest thing would set me off. I used to be fine and then fly into a rage etc
I never went to therapy, even after that. I tried to throw myself into a river twice, I cut myself again. since I have managed to push all of my friends away from me no one wants to know me anymore. I stopped drinking completely (even though I never drank that much) and have managed to get a few friends back again
but when Im around people I feel like theres a block there. Im never really happy, and when I am its elated and I get agitated and restless and then I go down. I spend hours crying for no reason, I would be perfectly fine and then im down. no body seems to understand, my parents think I should toughen up, and I cant find anyone o help me or to talk to.
at night I get awful night terrors.
A person with a borderline personality disorder often experiences a repetitive pattern of disorganization and instability in self-image, mood, behavior and close personal relationships. This can cause significant distress or impairment in friendships and work. A person with this disorder can often be bright and intelligent, and appear warm, friendly and competent. They sometimes can maintain this appearance for a number of years until their defense structure crumbles, usually around a stressful situation like the breakup of a romantic relationship or the death of a parent.
Relationships with others are intense but stormy and unstable with marked shifts of feelings and difficulties in maintaining intimate, close connections. The person may manipulate others and often has difficulty with trusting others. There is also emotional instability with marked and frequent shifts to an empty lonely depression or to irritability and anxiety. There may be unpredictable and impulsive behavior which might include excessive spending, promiscuity, gambling, drug or alcohol abuse, shoplifting, overeating or physically self-damaging actions such as suicide gestures. The person may show inappropriate and intense anger or rage with temper tantrums, constant brooding and resentment, feelings of deprivation, and a loss of control or fear of loss of control over angry feelings. There are also identity disturbances with confusion and uncertainty about self-identity, sexuality, life goals and values, career choices, friendships. There is a deep-seated feeling that one is flawed, defective, damaged or bad in some way, with a tendency to go to extremes in thinking, feeling or behavior. Under extreme stress or in severe cases there can be brief psychotic episodes with loss of contact with reality or bizarre behavior or symptoms. Even in less severe instances, there is often significant disruption of relationships and work performance. The depression which accompanies this disorder can cause much suffering and can lead to serious suicide attempts.
It is a common disorder with estimates running as high as 10-14% of the general population. The frequency in women is two to three times greater than men. This may be related to genetic or hormonal influences. An association between this disorder and severe cases of premenstrual tension has been postulated. Women commonly suffer from depression more often than men. The increased frequency of borderline disorders among women may also be a consequence of the greater incidence of incestuous experiences during their childhood. This is believed to occur ten times more often in women than in men, with estimates running to up to one-fourth of all women. This chronic or periodic victimization and sometimes brutalization can later result in impaired relationships and mistrust of men and excessive preoccupation with sexuality, sexual promiscuity, inhibitions, deep-seated depression and a seriously damaged self-image. There may be an innate predisposition to this disorder in some people. Because of this there may ensue subsequent failures in development in the relationship between mother and infant particularly during the separation and identity-forming phases of childhood.
p.s. is depression more severe in the morning?
There is a message dated 10/07/02 under anonymous and it requests what is the first step? GP, Pscyhiatrist or Pschyoanalyst and medication. My last response was to that comment. As you said you have tried everything and that you have a pscyhiatrist, counsellor and support groups and the message also relates to a friend of the writer and not a sufferer. Considering you are the sufferer then there was no way of connecting you to the message 10/07/02. I responded to that comment with regard to GROW and Aware and the possible tretaments. As it was under anonymous then it appeared to be written by someone else. However I willnot be attempting to enter any further discussion under this particular discussion as it is not serving a beneficial purpose to anyone.
and any member of the community
is susceptible to its occurence. I don't classify myself as having a personality disorder that many maintain comes with it. Any initmacy problems I have comes in the form of living in a small community where my private life isn't my own and people like to unharness fictional juicy gossip because it is more enjoyable and entertaining and more interesting than the reality. The same goes for Social interaction even amongst people I don't know but are reliably informed by guess what? Unfortunately, many never consider the affects of opening their mouth on a topic they know nothing about. The consequences are detrimental and misinformed knowledge leads to decisions that are based on fiction and not fact. Authority problems I have no problem because I will challenge anyone regardless of "status" as defined by the community hierarchial pyramid that has been created by Irish Society. Low self-esteem hits during a depressive phase where old problems resurface time and again for most people. Frequent readmissions can be caused by treating the symptoms with medications and glossing over the triggering problems. Unfortuantely, the community as a whole are uneducated regarding Bi Polar and even amongst those trained "medics".