I JUST WANT TO FEEL BETTER

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1,376 Posts

purple  ·  13 Jul 2014

hi

long time since iv been on the site, im so weepy all the time , its the bloody menopause, i cant go on HRT as im on bloodpressure meds, i lost my ma 6 months ago this week, she was 1 in a million, she is gone an she is the 1 person who i wud have been able to talk to about menopause, my hubby is great, between grief and menopause im really weepy, i used to cry every day for 2 weks after my mum died,i cant even talk to any1 as i get upset, wat can i do?

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  25 Jan 2011

hi berni

its hard because she was like a person who didnt care, i feel for her, i no she has had her life, an she wants to be with her husband,im just dreading the days she has left, xxxx

 

101 Posts

Bernie  ·  20 Jan 2011

Hi Purple,

Sorry to hear about your mother-in-law.  She is probably right when she says she has lived her life and doesent want anyone to donate a kidney, operations like that would be hard on someone who is a bit older. Take care of yourself, and your husband he must be really upset.

Bernie

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  19 Jan 2011

hi

got bad news about my mother- in-law today, her kidneys are bad and she was given 3 months to live unless dialysis works. She has said she doesn't want a family member donate a kidney, she has had her life and she will be with her husband, xxxx

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  29 Dec 2010

hi girls

im really low this past few days, menopuase, my godson got engaged christmas eve, which im so delight for him, as he is a most wounderful guy and his partner is a wounderful girl, i get a call tonight of my niece, my ma and i are having a surprise engagement party newyears eve, the invite is open to u and hubby and kids, i said ok, things are not too good with me and my sister r her hubby, i dont go near her r him any more, and i have two other sisters who i fell out with, i contacted my brother tonight told him about party, he says he isn't going, as he is like me not talking to sister or hubby, i told my brother i didnt want to go to the party, and he said sis, dont go if youdont want to, i didnt go to my parents 50th as i didnt want to cause a row.

 

101 Posts

Bernie  ·  20 Dec 2010

Hi Purple,

Happy Christmas to you and all the family, have a lovely time whatever you are doing.

Bernie

X

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  18 Dec 2010

hi girls

happy christmas to u all have a great chrsitmas, thansk for all the support through this post, im realy greatful to u all, thanks doing well,

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  02 Nov 2010

hi girls

i need some advice on this one, my mother inlaw is putting a lot on me, she is moaning a lot about her son who lives with her, he has three kids, doesnt live with his partner, he lives with his ma, and yet his two kids live with him there, now what i hate is that he is handing his partner up a weekly wage and nothing to his ma, my mother inlaw wont say anything to him, she moans about it a lot, she is on a pension, and she is supporting herself and her son and grandkids, we have said to her before , send the kids home to there mother and put him out, but she makes excuses, now i told my hubbt tonight, and he says i dont want to no as me ma wont listen to anyone, she is moaning about  it let her see whats its like,xxxx

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  09 Oct 2010

hi girls

you may think im been really stupid, but i have cancelled three bloodtests, i was suppose to get a bloodtest done in august, but when my hubby took ill i couldnt go as he always comes with me as im terrible with needles, now i made another appointmeny and cancelled it, im so nerves with needles, last week i had a dreadful nightmare about getting blood taken from me, i woke up in a sweat, i had to cancel again, the bloodtest is to c what HRT i can go on, i go into a crumble over this, i work myself into a fit, my hubby comes with me but i cant to it, this feeling has never happened before, as i have always had support getting bloodtests, what am i going to do,i think its panic attacks,

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  05 Oct 2010

hi girls

im so depressed, this monthly things, i hate it, im crying as it gets to me, i was talking to my brother the other night, my so called sister is having trouble with her back,she was sacked from her job, she is claiming socail welfare which she makes a show of me over claim social welfare, i was asked the other day to have have a heart and compassion for her , no way, she told my brother , whe my husband was in hospital a few months ago she couldnt careless about me r him.

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  29 Sep 2010

hi girls

thanks for all your kind advice, was at my GP this morning, he has taken me of my calchewas they have a high risk for heart diease, i was given pain killers, but wasnt inpressed with hospital, having to wait for a year to be seen to, im up an down because the way i am, im not sleeping properely and taking it out on my family, i was awake at 6am this morning, and couldnt go back to sleep, was at the doctors at 9am and got home by 9.30 and my hubby says go back to bed, i did, and i slept till after 12, i was shaterred, my gp says if im not sleeping at night to get rest during the day, i have to as im so grumpy in the day, thanks girls, xxxx

 

101 Posts

Bernie  ·  29 Sep 2010

Hi Purple,

Sorry to hear your not feeling great these days.  Im with Buzz on the whole prescription thing if it makes your life easier you should get a prescription it is crazy situation.  Take care of yourself.

Bernie

 

3,037 Posts

buzz  ·  28 Sep 2010

Oh I know it's ridiculous. Some pharmacists are using the new legislation as an excuse for a power trip or to lecture their customers. Best advice is to get a prescription or letter of recommendation from your GP and then the pharmacist can say feck all.

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  27 Sep 2010

hi buzz

im in so much  pain, i cried last night, my back hurting again, im taking panadol, the chemist where i get my meds from refuse to give me neurofen plus, this stupid thing going on to many people taking them, its the only drug that helps with pain,

 

3,037 Posts

buzz  ·  27 Sep 2010

Purple are you ok? What has you feeling low? Have you a friend to talk things over with? Virtual hug x

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  26 Sep 2010

hi

im feeling really depressed tonight, crying lastnight,this is menpause week for me,i really hate this feeling i want to scream  xxxx

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  22 Sep 2010

hi berni

oh i have her out of my head, its just that the other day when i was told about her it made me day, so if she does ever cross me again i will say look at yourself in the mirror before u comment on me, xxxx

 

101 Posts

Bernie  ·  22 Sep 2010

Hi Purple,

You know the old saying what goes around comes around its so true with your sister, she had a bee in her bonnet about Welfare and now its how she lives too.  Try and out her out of your mind people who are that negative are not worth the effort.

Bernie

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  21 Sep 2010

hi

i had my sons nurse out today, my son has told her that he hates my sister, an i was asked how do i fell about this. i said well i dont blame him, as for what she called him, she called him an austic ba*tard, i dont talk to her. i have fallen out with three of my sisters, not my fault. my father has called them childish as they are the ones that are been bad, my dad told them that i was going through a hard time, with my back and my menapause, they didnt want to know, he told them to lay of me, but they wont,i told my brother last night that i dont want to have anything to do with my sisters,and one of my sisters who made a show of me outside my parents house a few months ago about been on welfare, well she wont do that again, because she was sacked from her job, and now she is on welfare, sorry if this sound bad, but servers her right, she put me down many times when i was really in a bad way, she said she couldnt careless about me, well im the same with her, xxxx

 

101 Posts

Bernie  ·  05 Sep 2010

Hi Purple,

Do you know if you would be given a home help to do a few chores for you.  I know its really hard when you have to stop doing the jobs that you always did but your family are very good and they don't mind giving you a hand and its good for them all to learn how things are done.  Try not to feel guilty about handing over the jobs its not your fault.

Take care of yourself,

Bernie

 

3,037 Posts

buzz  ·  03 Sep 2010

Hi Purple sorry to hear you're not feeling on top of things. Would it help if you emplyed someone to come in once or twice a week to do the washing? I know there are people who will come in and do it for 15 or 20 euro, though I know, like myself, that can make or break the budget the way things are at the moment! Hugs

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  02 Sep 2010

hi buzz and berni

i feel so lost, i feel depressed, my husband is doing everything, yesterday i get him to carry basket of washing up to the bedroom, he said u r not do do anything, he goes out for his walk, .all i did was sort the clothes out, i could feel the pressure in my spine, i had to stop, i took my postan as i was in  terrible pain, im so annoyed and upset now as i cant do nothing, its making me feel so uscless, iv told my sons that they have to start helping there da as its not fair on him, im going to show my hubby how to do washing the clothes, now he does now how, but im very petictular with the uniform, and my youngest clothes, as he has skin allgery. xxxx

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  30 Aug 2010

hi berni

my husband is very good to me yes, but i have told him today please let me do something, making a lunch won't hurt my back, so he let me, i wont let anyone do the washing as im so particular with the way its done, but i have told my husband and sons that if and when i do go into hospital im going to get them to help there da, i will show them how to do the washing, especially the uniform, im very peticular with that, i wash the jumper at a cold wash with woolite, and my son's washing has to be done on its own as he had skin allergy.

 

101 Posts

Bernie  ·  30 Aug 2010

Hi Purple,

You are so lucky to have such an attentive husband.  Explain to him that you love all his help and know how much he loves you but when he makes your brekfast that you could do for yourself you feel powerless.

If you look at the clothes to the line situation in a different way say to yourself I can hang up these clothes and Im lucky to be able, when you make a cup of tea say in your mind I can make tea and Im lucky to be able to. 

Louise Hay is an american women who wrote a book about health now some of what she says is a bit much but she gives thanks for everything that she does its a habit you can get into and might make you feel a little bit more in control and remind you of what you can do.  Purple, I really hope you dont think im lecturing you I hate being told what to do and Im telling you about something that I find works for me.  If you feel its worth it and you fancy doing it give it a go.

Its all about feeling the best we can in the situation we find ourselves in and sure all we can do is our best.

If you ever get tired of your husband, be a pet and pass him on he sounds like a little angel.  Innocent

Bernie

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  28 Aug 2010

hi buzz and berni

im so depressed over this pain that im in, i cant do any housework, and i see my hubby do everything, i got up this morning and he made me my breakfast, i could have done that myself,i can do the washing, i carry three items out to the line, im using a crutch to get around when i have to go shopping, i can get around the house ok, tonight my back is so sore an i did nothing, xxxx

 

101 Posts

Bernie  ·  28 Aug 2010

Hi Purple,

It does sould like surgery is your only option.  I had to have an operation a few years ago and I was dreading it but to be honest I was in such agony before that the minute I came to after the anastethic I felt better in a bit of pain alright but it went after a week or so.  Find out everything you can about the operation so that your ready for it when the time comes. Ask the doctor how often he does this sort of operation and what are the risks etc.  Take care of yourself.

Bernie

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  25 Aug 2010

hi berni and buzz

went to the doctors this morning, my husband came in with me, he told the doctor that i cant stand the pain in my back no more,the doctor has referred me to hospital to c a specialiast, my back is bad,three disc in my back are crumbled, and this is y im in so much pain, the doctor says major operation will be in question, my husband asked so many questions, like how bad it was an was told bad enough, no heavy lifting , no hoovering, nothing that is going to have me in pain, i thought that i was going to have to go to hospital lastnight, i twisted my back getting up of the softa, and by god was i in tears, my back is sore after checkup. i wasnt expecting to be told surgery, i have been put on pain killers, told the doctor that im so depressed about this whole thing, xxxx

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  23 Aug 2010

hi berni

i was talking to my mother this afternoon, she says she knows what i'm going through, she has osteoporosis, she has it bad like me and my ma is in her 70s, she told me to go to the doctor to get pain reliefe, im going this wednesday, i went out this morning to get my youngest's last things for school, god how expensive things are, im not getting his books yet as i have been advised not to, he is going into 4th year in saint pauls in raheny, and last year his friend didnt even use his books, so im not forking out money for books he aint going to use, if i do get letter off the school i will say if my son is going to be using the books yes we have no problem getting. also i'ts disgraceful that they keep changing the book list every year, he has a cousin who is in the same school as him and he couldnt even pass his books down to him, xxxx

 

101 Posts

Bernie  ·  22 Aug 2010

Hi Purple,

I do know exactly what your'e saying-im 51 and like you don't feel im old enough to be in the right old state i'm in. I'm overweight by stones and it has to make my aches worse and how i'm feeling generally. I went to a dietician a week ago and she gave me a diet-there's not a lot on it but so far i've stuck with it and this is day 6. I know you're a really private person but I found going to the aware meetings for depression really helpful and theres even one your husband can go to in St. Pat' on Wed night. I don't know if you are in Dublin but I think the meetings are all around the country.

It's really hard when you have battles to fight on your own and I know you have a good husband and a good doctor but you could think about getting out and meeting more people, It really does make a difference. I told you I go to classes I started with a Personal Development one -it was brilliant and I'd say you could get a lot out of a class like that. There, you are who you are and you stop being someone's mother, wife, or daughter-it's about you and other women like you. I really hope you will give something like that a try, I know it's terrifying going into a place where you know nobody and your afraid no one will talk to you but there are loads of other women in exactly the same situation. I do meditation and its so relaxing you forget all about your pains and aches for a couple of hours.

Take care

Bernie

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  20 Aug 2010

hi berni

im so pissed of with the condition i have, i feel useless, i said it, that's how i feel, telling family how you feel they don't hear, sometimes i wish i could show them my xrays, it's so frustrating. 

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  20 Aug 2010

hi berni

I can't walk far, as my leg goes from underneath me,an i'm so fustrated over what's wrong with me. It goes over an over in my mind why i have this condition, im only 45, if i was 70 then, yes i would say I am getting old, Now my hubby is great with me, I was in pain last night with my back, shooting pain right up my spine, he wanted me to stay in bed all day for a rest. I said no way, hoovering i cant do, i get my boys to do it when they do it,carrying baskets of washing to the kitchen is too heavy for me, i can put washing out on the line, as i just carry 3/4 items, can't carry a heavy shopping bag, and the worst thing of all is i cant stand too long at the sink to washing the dishes,  i do feel like screaming.xxxx

 

101 Posts

Bernie  ·  20 Aug 2010

Hi Purple,

Glad your husbands on the mend.  I know how hard it is to let people do things for you when you are the person who did everything.

I had to learn to ask for help. I had this mad idea that my family should know what I need without me having to ask but they don't so now I ask my daughter to hoover, and my husband to put the bin out and carry the clothes to the line and somedays I'm able to hang them out and some days Im not but I have to live with it and the hardest one for me is people thinking I'm lazy because I was a real firefly in my younger days and most people are surprised I'm on medication because I actk so (normal) if you want to use that word.  Try and accept what your body is telling you and be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend who is sick.

Take care

Bernie

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  19 Aug 2010

hi

Havent been the best these past few days, crying a lot, the only person I can talk to is my hubby. I told my hubby i hate that i cant do things in the house. I hate that i have to depend on others, I was standing at the sink lastnight, ah by god did my back hurt, it's a nightmare, xxxx

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  12 Aug 2010

hi kerry

thankyou so much for that, i really appreachite that, my husband is home and im looking after him, he is to take it easy, and believe me he is going to, thanks again, xxxx

 

56 Posts

Kerry  ·  12 Aug 2010

Hi Purple, I am sorry to hear that your husband is not well. I do know that it is upsetting and very worrying to have a close one in hospital. Stay positive and take care. Hope everything will be fine.

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  11 Aug 2010

hi berni and buzz

my hubby is home and he is grand, thanks,

 

101 Posts

Bernie  ·  10 Aug 2010

Hi Purple,

Im glad your husband is feeling better, and will be home with you soon, its only when things like this happen that you realise how important they are to you.  Take care of yourself.

Bernie

 

1,376 Posts

purple  ·  10 Aug 2010

hi buzz

went up to see him this afternoon, he is doing well, please god home tomorrow,he told me that he was very depressed, and i said i understand, its because he is in hospital, i was the same when i was in hospital, i cried night after night till i got home, thanks again, xxxx

 

3,037 Posts

buzz  ·  10 Aug 2010

Hi Purple how is your hubby doing? Hope all is ok for you. x

 

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purple  ·  09 Aug 2010

hi buzz and berni

my husband is doing good, he hopes to be home tomorrow r wednesday, he noes im been crying, but i assured him im fine, but im not, i miss him terrible, want him home, love him to bits,he had scope done today, he  was so sore , he was eating and drinking this evening, im so gratful for all the support from family, they no i cant travel on busses r walk far as me left leg goes from underneat me, so im grateful to them all. my hubby is worried about my back so i said im fine, im crtying everynight since he went to hospital, i cant help it, thanks,

 
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