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(Monday, 2nd Feb, 2015)

depression

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James O Driscoll170  ·  29 Jan 2015

For anyone out there going through depression, first and let me be clear from the get go it does get a lot better.. I'm in my 30s. 8 weeks ago while I was removing tiles from my bathroom to replace them.. Laughing and joking all the way up until the cloud. That's the best way to put it to u.. The cloud.. It was like it swooped into my head and rested just above my eyes, and the taughts Jesus the taught going through my mine were scary. Never ever ever had problems like this before. Hand on my hearth I'm telling ye the through. 4 days past and the taughts were every min. Darker and darker they were getting. I questioned my sanity and in that it scared me. Was I loosing my mind. It was like someone grabbed one of them sand egg timer's inside my head and flipped it upside down. I swear the chemical balance inside my head just turned upside down..

The 4th day I couldn't keep going through this. I was broken. Scared to tel anyone even more scared to tel the doctor. But honestly it was tel the doctor or I wouldn't be writing this. That is the truth.im a happy camper. Before this. Have a young kid, beautiful woman. Not alot of money but I was happy as pie up until the cloud rolled In. Told my woman. I was scared real scared. It wasn't voices or anything it was taughts dark taughts. Anyway told the woman, she said get to the doc right now. So off we went. 

I knew straight away that I could not hold a shred of truth back from the doc. So I opened my mouth and what the doc listened to I couldn't believe I was the one saying it. He said he never heard of depression happening so quickly. But most definitely that's what it was. Mind u this doc knows me my whole life. 

Put me on tabs for the forseable future, here's the thing right everyone of us a different, they could take the night 2 kick in or in my case 7 weeks. I'll be honest with anyone reading this. They work. 7 weeks were the worst weeks of my life. Waiting and waiting for something I didn't know what was going to happen but it did. Day after day that egg timer was slowly turning back upright. I'm writing this here to tel anyone going through this. I can't lie to ye so. Here it is.. For me it was the toughest fight of my life for my life, the scariest I have ever been. When you come through this after the tabs and the weeks you will know what true strength really is. It does get a lot better.. 3 things I'm so happy I did. 1 researched and read everything. Pin pointed what it was.. 2. Told someone. I can't stretch this enuff. I'm a proud man. If u will allow me. A tough man. A man that taught era couple of days I'll be back to myself kinda man. No no no way. It rattled me so much it laided me bare. Until I told someone. 3. Told the truth to the doc and listened to his advice. Throughout the weeks of waiting kept telling myself look u know it's going 2 take a few weeks so day by day.. I'm 8 or 9 weeks since the doc. I'm about 95% back to myself.. anyone reading this.. take it on head first and agree with your mind your going 2 kick it's ass. Get to the doc. Day by day.. u won't be sorry... All the best..

 
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