How to cope with a crisis pregnancy…

This page may be of help to a woman in a crisis pregnancy. It may also be of help to a parent or friend of a woman in crisis.

I assume that you may be experiencing a crisis pregnancy because you have come to this page. If you have simply wandered onto this page and are not in crisis I have very little to say to you.

You may be very upset and frightened and feel in the grip of naked fear. Please keep reading so that I can try to connect with you through your fear.

You may be very distressed by becoming pregnant at this point in your life. Maybe it has happened earlier than you had planned or perhaps it is totally unexpected and not planned for at all. Perhaps you are not in a continuing relationship. Whatever your circumstance, please stay with me on this page.

Time to think

The first direct point I want to make to you is that you do have time to think about your situation. No matter what stage you may be at in your pregnancy there is no pressing need to do anything right now other than think. Please do not do anything other than make some space for yourself to think through your current difficulty.

You are caught up in a situation that demands careful consideration. A quick decision made in panic could cause you terrible regret later. I say this to you directly without prejudging the action you may ultimately take. Whatever decision you ultimately take should be your decision and it should be made without coercion.

I strongly recommend that you talk to another person about your situation. Choose somebody you trust. I am not directing you in your choice. You may choose to speak to a brother or sister. Alternatively you might prefer to speak to a parent or a best friend. Maybe you have a good relationship with your family doctor or a counsellor.

Speak to a friend

The bottom line in my advice is that you speak to someone whom you trust. Express your fear or worry. Sometimes the feelings we have inside become less intense if we simply express the fear to someone we trust. Sharing your worry may help you.

The next step I would recommend is that you get more information about the range of help that is available to you. Your friend may be able to help you with this. I attach below contact details for the various bodies that exist to help women in your situation. I am not pointing you in any particular direction but there may be more help resources out there for you than you currently realise. This stage in the process need not take too long. You may be able to get the information you need in a day or so.

See a doctor

I believe it is very important that you make an appointment to see a doctor whom you trust. If you have a good relationship with your family doctor he or she would be an obvious choice since the doctor would already know you. If you do not have a trusting relationship with your doctor go and see another doctor. Your friend may be able to help you with this choice. The doctor should be able to give you additional information and answer your questions. Perhaps you might like your friend to accompany you to the doctor.

Whatever the outcome of your ultimate decision there will be medical consequences, such as the need for a medical check up.

If news of your situation should leak out, have courage. The decision you make should be yours alone. Don’t be bullied into any course of action. You should own the decision you make. You do not own the decision if it is based on a consideration of what other people might think. When you are making any decision in life worrying about what other people think is a waste of energy and diverts you away from clear decision making.

If you have an unexpected pregnancy and are looking for support and advice, the organisations listed below are funded to provide free and confidential pregnancy counselling.

Cherish. 2 Lower Pembroke St., Dublin 2. Tel. 6629212.

CURA. 30 South Anne St., Dublin 2. Tel. 6710598.

Callsave 1850 622626.

Aertel page 492, network 2

Dublin Well Woman Centres. 35 Lower Abbey St., Dublin 1. Tel 8728051.

Irish Family Planning Association. Callsave 1850 495051.

Life. 29 Dame St., Dublin 2. Callsave 1850 281281.

Pact. 15 Belgrave Road, Rathmines, Dublin 6. Tel. 4976788.

Callsave 1850 673333.

Rape Crisis Centre. 70 Leeson St. Lower. Dublin 2. Tel. 6614911.

The following organisations have experience in dealing with Irish women who have opted for termination of pregnancy.

British Pregnancy Advisory Service.      Tel. 0044 121 4557333.

Marie Stopes International   Tel (0044) 845 300 80 90 this line is open 24/7

Remember that your personal family doctor can also provide information and support.

Article written by Dublin GP, Dr Leonard Condren.

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