Medical Q&As

Orgasm - never had one?

I am a 36 year female, and to date have not had an orgasm (with any partner). Do you know of any doctor or therapist dealing with this problem? I have been to my GP and only ended up humiliated and sorry I ever went to see him.

Some women never achieve orgasm through penile-vaginal stimulation and can only achieve orgasm through direct stimulation of the clitoris. It may be that your experience of sexual activity to date has not involved sufficient stimulation of your clitoris. It is also very important to mention that many women enjoy very fulfilling sexual relations without ever experiencing orgasm. The incidence of this problem has been estimated in various surveys at being between 10 to 40% of sexually active women. Your question indicates that you have never experienced orgasm with any partner but my direct question to you would be; have you ever experienced orgasm by masturbation? If that is the case then by definition you are not suffering from anorgasmia. I would suggest that you broach the subject with your partner if you have not already done so. Sexual difficulties such as you describe can often best be treated through a combination of individual work and couple work. If you consult the Golden Pages telephone directory you will find listings for various practitioners involved in sex therapy. They are listed under Counselling and Advisory Services. You might also find it helpful to read an article on female orgasm, which you can access through the following link: http://www.sexualhealth.com/fullstory.cfm?ID=16. It is extremely regrettable that your first attempt at seeking help resulted in humiliation. Do not be deterred by that negative experience. There is plenty of help available for you.